General Chat

My nanny is in a home and she likes it but I don't. I don't like old people's homes as I think they're a bit clinical - all the staff walk around in nurses outfits. I don't much like the atmosphere there either. There's someone there who's definately a bit cuckoo shouting out 'Help me! Help me!'. It makes me feel a bit uneasy somehow. I think, where it is possible, people should look after their relatives. I think a society should be judged by its care of people who can't care for themselves. :-)

Id rather be put in a home than burden my two children. But only if the worst came to the worst and I couldnt manage alone anymore. Elaine x

Lucia, Running a slightly different thread to this one. Your sentiments are to be applauded. Would that it was so easy Happy days

I used to joke with daddy that if he didn't behave I would send him to an OP's home!! he'd have hated it!! :O) Grandma is 101 and refuses to go into an OP home as she doesn't want to spend her days with OLD PEOPLE!! :O) So I think it must be individual choice if that person is unable to look after themselves!! But I would never judge anyone for putting someone they loved in care as it must be the hardest decision in the world!! xx

it depends Lucia - we are about to move, to accomodate my mum who has altzheimers, when dad can no longer manage. what happens when i can no longer manage ?- there are not many options open then! jess

Hi Lucia, my f-i-l lives in a nursing home and he needs the sort of attention I couldn't give him. Strangely there is an old woman who is always shouting 'help me, help me' at his home too Apart from the fact that I couldn't do what needs doing for him, if he lived with us I would walk out as he drives me mad. The looking after always falls on the woman doesn't it? Don't mistake me - I love him dearly but I just couldn't live with him. The last time he stayed with us before he got really ill I made myself go up into the loft (brave for me as I hate heights, I've never got past the 3rd rung of the ladder before that time) as that was the only place I could get some peace.

I have told my lot that when i start peeing my trousers PUT ME IN A HOME. Steve

My Dad had to go in a home because he needed nursing care, he stayed on his own until he was 89, with my sister calling on him every day (we lived 2 hours away.) He was really quite happy in there, I think Lucia it is worse for you visiting because youa re young and full of life but when you slow down and get to 90 you accept it more, and probbaly most of them in there arre hard of hearing and the calling out doesn't worry them. Mind you there are good homes and bad homes and the staff that looked after my dad were lovely. He died there when he was 93. Ann Glos

Thanks for your replies. I would never like to be put away in a home when I'm very old. I think it's very lonely and it only serves to remind you even more of your own mortality. My dad said that if he is ever put in a home we all have permission to shoot him lol

Yes I see what you mean Anne. My grandmother likes her home. It has a lovely garden and she loves to sit in it. So it's fine if she is enjoying. I know I wouldn't though.

The point I'm making is that community care is a great thing and there should be more of it. I think it's more dignified for people.

No I would never want to be put in a Home, but I would prefer that to being a burden on my only son. XX BC

It's not lonely at all for them Lucia. They have people their own age to talk to and reminisce with. They play various games if they want to and have outings. true, there are bad homes which I know as we had to move f-i-l out of the first one he was in, the staff were not nice at all, but that was probably due to bad management rather than anything else. If I get to the stage of going into a home then I'm going to be like the woman on 'Waiting for God' and cause all sorts of mayhem LOL

BC - Don't forget you have Daniel now.... *thinks rich writers can afford to look after mature women...*

Lucia I visit a lot of old folk with meal on wheels a lot of them need the care of a home for thier needs but they still like to be independent so as long as they can get by with the help of others they are happy, hope I dont need one for a while xxxxxxxxxHowie

Oh wow Bec, I forgot about Daniel:-))))) lol BC

I don't wanna be put in a home but then I have no kids so who is gonna wanna look after me? I think sheltered housing might be a nicer idea..... still having my own home but with someone close by to look out for me!! xx

This is a difficult one. The most important thing is that your Nanny is happy where she is. As for the nurses in their uniform, well I have seen the casual approach and on both occasions it came with a casual attitude to the clients and to the work. The patient shouting 'help me' is probably confused and if she is not upsetting your Nanny that's all that matters. Yes it would be nice if we could all look after our sick or aging relatives but this is not always possible most of us have families too and cannot give the care that they need and should have. Just make sure the home is clean and the staff caring, drop in unexpectedly sometimes am and sometimes pm. and remember when folk in the olden days looked after their rellies there was NO choice. May your Nanny stay happy. Pat

Are you getting on a bit then BC? lol I don't like the idea of old people being a burden - they shouldn't be. And people shouldn't make money out of them either - that's just wrong.

lol Lucia...yes I am getting on more than a bit....70 in June....YEEEEEEE HAWWWWW BC XX