General Chat

Lindy You have reminded me of my childhood. We were not allowed to set foot outside the door without three sheets of Izal toilet paper, neatly folded and in our pockets 'Just in case' LOL OC

Lol..Sue, Very Good! Public toilets are no different over here. No matter how posh they look they always run out of toilet paper. I make a point of carrying a few packets of tissues in my handbag, and a full toilet roll in the car... You never know when you are going to need it...... Lindy ;-)))

OC I will remember that for next time :)) A young thing at 53-- I love you Jill xx :))

Oh Jill, that's EASY... Arms out of ski suit. Pass arms of ski suit under crutch, tie round neck. Proceed as for trousers. (Honestly, you young things don't have a clue!) OC

Try using the loo wearing an all in one ski outfit and ski boots !! Jill xx :))

So true Sue....try doing it while holding 4 year old grandaughters hand.........to terrified to let go ...cause she is fasinated with the broken bolt.

Hi Di :o) Good to see you again too! I hope you are well :o) This was actually sent to me by my 84 year old Aunt in Regina. Seems Ladies restrooms are the same worldwide! Sue xx

Hi Sue, Good to see you again! How true that all is. I was desperate enough the other day, (no queue, but another woman waiting advised me mother with baby and toddler was in the only ladie's room, changing baby), that I went into the only men's room, which luckily was vacant. It was exactly the same as the ladie's room, with just one seating, so go figure! There's rarely, if ever, a queue outside men's restrooms, and at home we all use the same one, so why not make public one's unisex? Love, Di.xxx

So funny yet so true, Lil

I don't usually use the term pmsl on here but I think this one deserves it.... Never thought of handbag round neck....

Oh OC, you've started me off again! Son just came in to see if I was OK - he thought I was crying! Of course he couldn't understand what was so funny! LOL Sue xx

Oh Sue, you forgot the bit about wearing a long coat and trousers... This is my technique. Flip back of coat up and over head.Hang bag round neck, thus ensuring coat back stays up. Let trousers down only to the point where they are in danger of dabbling on the floor, then clutch the crutch firmly with one hand, pulling forward and up.Assume the stance, which in the above circumstance means you are bent almost double and only have one hand to balance yourself with. Carry on as normal. I was once taken short in a rural carpark in France. All that was available was a rudimentary squat over a running river. I managed perfectly, having had many years of practice. My friend fell over. OC

Sue, my daughters and I are still laughing! Have you ever worn a long skirt and given that a wash when you flushed the loo in a tiny cubicle? Luckily it was a dark colour, but it was a vey cold day and it took ages to dry!

That was so true Sue and soooo funny!!!! Cazxxxx

Superb thanks suex

Sue that was brilliant ! Cathy

You been in the same loo's as me,,,

PMSL Sue that is soooo true.

'A Trip to the Restroom' TOO FUNNY NOT TO SHARE! When you have to visit a public toilet, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there were one, but there isn't - so you carefully but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume 'The Stance.' In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.' To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!' Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain; her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.' By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At that point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the taps with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women, still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.' As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?' This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a public restroom (rest??? you've got to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door!!

This made me cry with laughter. Sue xx