General Chat

my mum has senile dementia and she went in to hospital 3mnths ago and she told the doctor my brother who is her carer had hit her and after 2 meetings last month and this month last week they sent her back to him now to me my mum is in danger I am gonig to blame them and other members of my family if he hits her again and i do know it is all about money he wants not my mum

Val,Thats just terrible,your poor mum.

Susie shout louder sweets as Attendance Allowance is not means tested....... she has a right to it and no amount of money she (they) have is anything to do with it!! Good luck babe xx

My mum is currently caring for my nan, she has terminal cancer and is 85. my nan has moved from her bungalow into my mums house, the help has been non existant, everytihng we have had we have had to fight for. The macmillan nurses gave them a grant of £500 to help with putting in a stair lift, the government have awarded my nan £62 per week attendance allowance.... but my poor mum gets nothing for caring for her as she has her pension. All this we have had to fight for it wasnt offered and at such a stressful time when you are told a family member is going to die the last thing anyone should be doing is fighting for assistance, if should be handed to them on a plate. It is hell for my mum physically and mentally, especially as this is the 3rd person my mum has cared for, she lost her dad and her husband to cancer and cared for them in exactly the same way. what makes it worse as it all seems to happen at the same time of year, her husbands anniversary was saturday and her dads is next week. Me and my sisters are there to help 24/7 if it wasnt for us I dont know where they would be. I think my mum is a star, to nurse your mum, dad and husband through cancer, I hope I never have to do it!!!!! My love goes to all who are not at their best of health and those that are caring for someone!!!!

I know it is terrible roxanne but I can't take her as she has to live where there is no stairs and I have a son with ADHD To the Sharon your mum should get carers allowance you should also see about DLA as my mum gets it go and see CAB they will advise you what your mum is entitled to

Hope no-one minds me pointing out but DLA is only available for the under 65's...... Attendance Allowance is the same thing for the over 65's. Neither are means tested and if someone has a terminal illness then they are entitled to the FULL amount.... there are 3 levels to chose from..... if you are declined then re-apply as its a well known fact they decline everyone first time round. xx

It's so sad to see such dreadful stories.

Val thanks for that... never thought of CAB, its like I said before your mind is in a whirl when the news is delivered and you just dont think straight. Its terrible about your mum, and there is nothing you can do!!! There are so many people in terrible situations, it gives a sense of not being on your own when you read other peoples sad stories.

My mum is now 75 and she has lived with us for the past two years. She lived in a small village in Lincolnshire and it was difficult for her to get to the shops/doctors/etc. I must admit it is not easy sometimes. I'm not a carer as such though - she just lives with us. Lorrainex

Nice to have you're Mum with you Lorraine.

Yes, it is really though sometimes I could marmalise her. (she says the same thing about me!) Love Lxx

Bit of an update* My friend has returned home, and it seems as though her Mum has had food poisening, it seems that she hadn't cooked one of her meals properly, although obviously this is good news, she is now worried it will happen again. I really feel for her, she is now looking at care homes, but her Mum is saying she doesn't want to go into one. She will now have to stay in England until something can be sorted out.

diane mobility allowance is only given to under 65's aswell hun. all dad asked for was a mobility car so he can get mum and her wheelchair in the back but he was refused.they are only issued to the under 65's disgraceful i think it seems that the older you are the less you get.so now we are clubbing together and getting dad his car. sharon your mum is entitled to carers allowance hun dad gets it for mum. keep pestering them susie x

Lynda... good and bad news then for your friend, she must have such divided feelings at the moment and that in itself is a strain! I think the amount of help people get the young and the elderley is awful when they are so ill. Suzie and Val..... just to let you know my mum had a letter this morning from the benefits agency advising her that as a carer she is entitled to something like £46 p/w... but because she is in receipt of a pension which is over £85 p/w she wont be able to get it...... CAB here we come!!!!!!! Sharon

I am carer for husband and son and sometimes I think no one cares especially my relatives and ex friends. edy

Edna, we care, you know we are here when you have time to come on here, for support and company or a blooming good moan, if it helps! take care, Liz

Hi, My FIL lived with us for over 20 yrs. Never a problem health wise. Just sometimes we had the age gap difference and a bit of a spat, but he brought us a lot of joy and he always said himself he would have gone years ago if we hadn't been there for him. Also had the joy of 18 months with his g/grandson before he passed away. Grandson talks about him often which is lovely. I'm just waiting for my CRB check to come through and going to be working as a carer. Fed up with the rat race if I'm being honest. Lot of materialistic beggers all chasing money and the have now pay later syndrome. Can't be bothered with all that. I've had it pretty lightly but can appreciate those who have to struggle on caring for loved ones without help. Not enough help is given. Isn't that always the way. About time those that govern get their priorities right. I salute anyone who is a carer. It is such a selfless act towards another human being. You are trully stars in my eyes. God bless. Aileen xxs

Always get CAB or Age Concern to do a benefits check and they will help fill in the forms too! All too often it is the terminology used that gets the benefit and these people are used to giving the correct information. For those of you caring for someone with Dementia ( as I do) there is another benefit if there is only the carer and the dementia sufferer living in the property. Council tax benefit which entitles you to a discount of 25%. You need a form called a severe mental impairment form, you have to get the Dr or Memory Clinic to sign it. It is a simple form AND the discount is backdated to the date of diagnosis. I got this last year and it is a little known benefit that the Alzheimer's society told me about. Linda

nudging for those that may not have read about Council Tax Benefit.

Sharon if you get Carers allowance they do take it off you if you are on Income Support as it is money coming in but income support goes up by £25 a week but I am not sure if it is a pension thought that would be different thing but you should get some help CAB will advise please keep us posted on progress