General Chat

'Why oh Why' indeed - i.e. why is it 'news', why is it anyone's business, and why do I want or need to know about Charlotte Church's private life? I wish her well, but have no interest in her life.

Just because people don't get married doesn't mean they aren't committed to each other. Many of our ancestors didn't get married either until after having children. At one time people used to declare themselves married by jumping three times, one way, over a brush.

I think what I am trying to say is: What message are they transmitting to their fans, who probably are young teenagers. ''Its ok ? go and have fun and if you get pregnant.So what?'' doesnt matter if you can afford it? or if you actually have a partner after the event??'' I may be old fashioned but ideally,my norm is, a stable relationship, financially sound, marriage and THEN starting a family.... Thats the way my mum n dad did it,, her sisters and brothers did it, me and my brothers, and my wife and her sisters did it!! Bob

She's more financially sound than lots of couples who are married and working full time. I believe her relationship has been going for a couple of years now, being married does not mean automatic stability, the number of divorces prove that. She's also 21 now which means that she became pregnant (is there a better way of putting that) when she was 20, the same age I was when I was pregnant with my first, not a teenager flitting from relationship to relationship by any means.

I cannot help but feel that such events are guided more by the heart than by the mind. But, casting that aside for the moment, let me ask you this Bob ........ What message does it send to you when you hear of a young lady who, at the peak of her reproductive life, who financially relies upon no one, who has seen hell and high water in previous relationships, decides to start a family with a man for whom she cares for very much and who, on the face of it, cares for her likewise ?

I still echo what Bob has said and I still say if you are truly committed to each other why not get married first then start a family - I cannot see any reason not to.

Sorry Bob if you thought I was saying that you were old fashioned......what I meant was that the idea of marriage, then children was an old concept for today......it seems that anything goes..... I liked the idea of getting engaged, then married from home, then setting up house together too, but these days the ideas have changed.... What amazed me was the attitude of my parents when my daughter and her then boyfriend went to stay with them, they let them stay together at night........now when I said to Dad, you wouldn't have let me do that, you would have gone mad if I suggested it.....he said that I was old-fashioned and that it seemed a good idea to get to know each other first......What????

I know of people that arent married and have Children,One couple I know have been married 30 years,still together and are Blissfully happy. I only found out recently that they never officially married. Some people just dont need a marriage certificate to prove their devotion. I have to say,I like the Idea of marriage,but thats just my own personal feelings:-))

There's nowt 'new' about having kids and not being married it was very common in 1800s but was never mentioned. My paternal G'Pa was born out of wedlock, used 3 different surnames, never married but he and his partner had 18 kids. I think it's better being 'out in the open' as the resulting children of a modern partnership don't suffer like kids did in the 1800s (and indeed more modern times) if it came out that they were born out of wedlock. However, it would, in my view, result in a more stable society if marriage was the norm. Brown should reinstate the Married Man's Tax Allowance and help to encourage marriage. The celebrities have so much money anything goes and they have to think up daft things to do to relieve their boredom, plus, of course to keep in the public eye. They, for the most part are a boring and tedious lot.

Being fully committed to each other enough to want to start a family is a very good reason to get married - so, why not?

And being permitted to not having to succumb to the will of others is, presumably, a valid reason not to get married !

I just hope she doesn't set a bad example by binge drinking when pregnant, that is more worrying to me! :0S Joan

Whose old todger has fallen off......oops I think I fell asleep .

Some Debating Society this has turned out to be !!!! ........................ I think that all these old todgers have dropped off to sleep ! LOL

PMSL I wonder if My Good Lady might make the rest of us privvy to her most interesting dreams ?

can't see anything wrong with it at all - they have been together for quite a while, are obviously settled, happy and committed to each other - I'm very pleased for them. you can hardly compare her to Britney. Maz. XX

I will put a spanner in the works here, I don't recall anyone bringing the Bible or Jesus's words into this debate. Bob I think I love you-you sound like my kind of guy Janet

Robin, she MAY be financially sound and apparently in a stable relationship, and dependent on no one.....but my criticism is directed at the irresponsible attitude she MAY be projecting to vulnerable youngsters...(she is not the only one,but the one in the frame at the moment) She, to my mind is giving the OK to kids to behave irresponsibly, to their own bodies....its OK to give away your affection without due regard to the possible cost.. it appears that the UK is the ''illegitimacy'' capital of europe........now thats a title to look up to...isnt it? Bob

Bob, I can see where your coming from, Charlotte is only a few years younger than me but I would never choose to have a child out of wedlock, it's not my way, but at the same time she has been in the relationship with Gavin for some time and they are both finantially stable so marriage would bring little stability to their relationship. It may be that they see marriage as an expence that they could spend elsewhere and the certificate as just a peice of paper. But then again who's to say they arn't married? they could elope and get married at any time, anywhere and may have already done just that. I have friends who had children out of wedlock and that is their choice, one got engaged and had a baby at 20, her partener was in his 40's with 3 teenage children. I also have a relatives that married just before their second child was born, 21 years after the first child was born (I suspect that the wife may have lost a few children in those 21 years).

I can't see how it can be said that she's promoting an irresponsible attitude. She isn't 16 and flitting from boyfriend to boyfriend she's 21, financially independent and in a long term relationship. Being married doesn't make for a stable relationship - if it did there wouldn't be record numbers of divorces. I did it in the 'right' order as did most of my friends but we are the only ones still married. Gwynne