General Chat

She's just phoned again, her first words again were I was just checking your in, so I lost it big time and told her to stop checking up on me, I am 36 years old and if I want to go out somewhere I can and that it has nothing to do with her where I go or who I speak to, so she put the phone down on me. Jax xx

I think Sharleen has the best idea, get her up and down to answer the phone, and see how she likes it! Ring her when you go to the loo, and say just thought I would phone to tell you I will be in the loo for the next umph minutes in case you rang and wondered where I was, etc. Maybe she will get the message then!! Do this every half an hour or so, make up things like going to be out in the garden or upstairs in the loft, or out in the garage, whatever! Good luck, think I would have blown by now. Liz

What a cheek !!! How dare she check up on you like that !!! I would be seething too. Hope you manage to sort it out Jax she definately needs to be told whether gently or firmly. That is just not on !!! xx

I thought it was the Mothers Day one......oh, go for it girl!!!!! lol Nanna-Moo ;-))

lol

Jude yes I have he's probably reporting me as I type pmsl

Oh bless - then go for it and tell whats what. Hope you've told Keith as well - lol Good luck:o) jude sarf wales :o) x

No there is nothing wrong with her that a swift kick up the a**e wouldn't cure lol Thanks for your support everyone except Keith lol Jax xxxxx

Jax, Nanna is right. You have my sympathies, talking from experience a controlling mil is not good for your health. Hope you get it sorted soon xxx Heather

Hi Jax, I,m newish. But wot would you think to phoning her every time you go out, just say hi phoning to say I,m of out speak later, then when you get back phone and say I,m home speak later, just hang up each time...saying you'll speak later. You dont need to go out each time, but it may slow her up!!! Good Luck Sharleen

You have every right to rant Jax, this is just not on! She's the one who gave you a gift list for Mothers' Day isn't she?! Unless she has got some kind of illness, then you will have to be firm; she has no right to track your movements several times a day, and certainly not at 1am. You've got my sympathy as I've had MIL problems on and off for the last 25 years, although I must admit she didn't go so far as to check up on me (probably cos she knew she'd get an earful lol!). Mandy :)

I have 5 sons, 3 with partners, who in the main are wonderful. I don't interfere, they make their own way in life and that includes ups and downs....so far all is well but I still don't have the right to check up on my DIL's for goodness sake! If your OH understands then he will stand by you as you put MIL in place. If she doesn't like it tough, you will be a nervous wreck if this carries on.....grit you teeth, gird your loins and go for the neck! Good Luck!! Nanna-Moo ;-)) (p.s. turn the phone off after 10p.m. and back on again in the morning!)

pmsl again ha ha ha ha

pmsl

Sounds like a controlling woman to me, and if you play her game, she will feel she has the power to carry on doing this What Nanna Moo says is right..... Do not play her games, she is not in charge of how you spend your day, you are.......put the answerphone on and refuse to answer it if it is her......if she asks where you were, tell her that you were at home, but were fed up with all the phone calls..... My in-laws started out this way.....wanting to know where we were going, what we were doing......running fingers over the mantlepiece to see if I had dusted etc. and making comments..... It got so bad that if I drove them anywhere as a favour, my FiL used to sit in front and give me directions, even though I knew where I was going......he would get really angry because I deliberately ignored his 'instructions' and did not do as I was told.......I just did what I wanted to do.......when we first married he even called my OH 'boy'.....do this boy, do that boy, not by his name, or call him son.......In the end I asked him not to do it, and he was OK then......glad to say he got better with age, and they realised I was not some sort of pushover. I know I am going to regret saying this, because basically they are nice people.....just control freaks.....

Is she going senile or got the beginnings of dementia - if nothing like that then you have to be cruel to be kind. Hey change your number and go private:o)))) lol Gawd hope you sort it out though jude sarf wales :o) x

Nanna the only reason I have put up with it for this long is because I would feel terrible causing an argument between mother and son. If it was anyone else I would of told them to bog off long ago. I will tell her though when I see her again and tell her that the way she treats me is really hurting me and it needs to stop, because it takes alot to make me cry but she has managed to reduce me to tears many times. Jax xx

Oh, Jax, for goodness sake put this woman straight!!! You've got enough to do without pandering to her, you are married to her son, not her!!! Tell her straight, you have your own life and being married does not stop you from living!!! This would drive me nuts and I think I would have exploded long since!!! You poor girl, get your head in gear and go for it! I can't imagine any of my DIL's putting up with this for more than 5mins and it's none of my business what they are doing...it's their life..not mine!! Nanna-Moo ;-)

This is the first time I havent answered the phone to her and it's been going on for months now. I ask her is she ok and need a chat and she says no just checking up on you, just making sure you are where you should be. It started when I went to a concert with my friends, she feels I shouldn't go out now im married. Thanks everyone Jax xx

Jax, you need to tell her firmly but don't leave it....my firends mil used to do the same and in the end my friend just blew up at her one day......they didn't speak for about 5yrs and now although they are civil to each other they'll never be the same. My mil didn't care at all and never phoned......i don't know which is worse, Karen