General Chat

'Ditto' what answer is that,.

Please leave the thread which you have no experience of.

Getting really wound up, this thread is very dear to my heart.

Carol :-P

Ditto Annx :-D :-D

Lovely thoughts for Hazel :-D

Oh Hazel, how awful seeing it in print. Good advice on here though. Both of my parents said awful things. I was told by dad at the age of 9 that my baby sister was to be his favourite and the sooner I grew up and went the better. I will never forget the wave of shock and insecurity that passed through me on hearing my worst fears spoken.

There isn't always the excuse of not being shown love themselves either. It was only after mum died that her sister told me how spoiled she had been as a youngest child. It all made sense then of the way she was jealous of her children, had to outdo them and spoil any happiness they had. She always had to be the centre of attention.......just like she had been as a child!

Be proud that you are a nicer person and have done well in the world despite those cruel words. Remember, the only thing we can change is ourselves and the thoughts we choose to think. You couldn't have made her change, that was up to her, so was her responsibility and is no reflection on you.

The shock will pass and your mind will stop whirring with these thoughts that have been stirred up.

I wish you well and hope you have a really nice Christmas. :-) :-)

Well said Chris, has no experience of jack s--t.

Happy Christmas Chris :-D :-D

John - why do you have to have opinions on everything whether or not you have experience of same?

I would suggest you spend more time asking God to forgive you your biggest sins - those of envy, pride and (what you consider your gift) that of causing trouble and upset and instead endeavour to make more of humility, kindness and charity.

Dear Hazel,

I am a bit stuck for words after reading your post. As has been said on your thread there are lots of posters that have had similar events in their lives....all willing to be there for you.

How lovely though to have a close bond with your sister and she with you.

Annx

And John " There will be reasons for your mothers remarks" sounds like you support her, I have reasons but would never inflict them on my children, suggest you go away and read the thread.

Carol

Hazel I can only echo what JoyBoroAngel has said <3

To everyone else that has suffered similar <3 <3 <3

Take heart Hazel there are a lot of us here, and know exactly where you are coming from, do check out the narsistic thread Chris suggested, heavy reading but puts things in perspective.

Carol :-D :-D :-D

Me too Hazel, except in my case it was a narcissistic maternal grandmother (she brought me up from age 5), who couldn't stand the sight of me, but adored my brother. Made me stronger and able to cope with life's knocks, I reckon :-P :-D

Oh that is me with my mother age about 3/4 not a worry in the world then, but she was always a cold person, but I do still have that teddy. ;-)

Carol :-D

Hazel, from what you state you are a survivor, a successful business woman, sometimes things like this make us stronger. I came home from school aged 8 and my mother had deserted me, lucky I still had a father who bought me up, but back in the 50's not many men did.

I know it has affected me in many ways throughout my life, but only to make me stronger for the love of my 3 children and grandchildren.

Like others have said, if you can't put this to bed do get counselling.

Wishing you a Happy Christmas

Carol :-D <3

Happy Christmas Hazel, Don,t despair, many of us have been there, And Survived,Take care. **M**. :-D :-D ;-)

Hi Hazel

Don't let anyone suggest you are to blame in any way.
You were the child, don't let ANYONE lay a guilt trip on you :-0 :-0 :-0

As Chris has said, there is a support thread dedicated to children of narcissistic mothers with Sharron at the helm.

All the best :-) <3

i am so sorry hazel
every child desterves the best childhood possible

sorry you didnt get this hun :-( :-( :-(

but please dont let your past ruin your future xx :-D <3 <3

Hazel - there are many of us about - try the narsistic mother thread. It may help.

awh, thank you all so much for responding, and your kind and positive thoughts. just goes to show that "objects in the rear view mirror are much closer than they are"
actually through genes and other sites I have found that my mothers's mother died when she was just 4, and her grandmother died when she was 11, resulting in three generations of daughters being motherless, which no doubt led to my pretty awful childhood, the circle continuing!
odd, but ten years ago, I wrote my life book, and while reading my file, I find that my observations are totally correct.
my younger sister is suffering too, I became her guardian when she was young, so we have a close bond.
I truly appreciate your replies kind people.
thank you.

Not easy I appreciate but can you turn it about and tell yourself that the problem was all hers . No matter what you did she would still have had her problem as she was probably a very unhappy woman or had mental problems with relationships.

Maybe you could seek out some counselling to help you put it all its place and file it away.

Not very good at explaining what I mean .

Hazel. Have read some sad stories on here, but nothing like what you have been through. You must be incredibly strong as you sound quite a positive person from your posts.

There may possibly be reasons for your mother's remarks. Difficult to know what life she had led or how much love she had been shown. And we never seem to be old enough to be good and experienced parents :-( :-(

I just hope the remainder of your life is really happy - no one deserves that more than you do :-)

Hazel,

You may have took the brunt for her hatred towards your father,?






If you have difficulty in the coming weeks relating to this new raw information,,,please seek out someone to talk to who will ,listen ,understand and console where needed,,,your local council offices should display contact details of such.