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Christian Thread

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Dermot

Dermot Report 6 Sep 2020 12:51

I have a feeling that the congregation this morning came away after the service more confused than ever.

A long meandering sermon using a dodgy microphone on the expected 'return to normal' - whatever that is.

Unprecedented chaos more likely.

Cynthia

Cynthia Report 6 Sep 2020 08:11

Good morning :-)


The Collect (special prayer) for today:

Almighty God,
who called your Church to bear witness
that you were in Christ reconciling the world to yourself:
help us to proclaim the good news of your love,
that all who hear it may be drawn to you;
through him who was lifted up on the cross,
and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
one God, now and for ever. Amen.


The Gospel for today:

Matthew 18. 15-20
Jesus said to his disciples, ‘If another member of the church sins
against you, go and point out the fault when the two of you are
alone. If the member listens to you, you have regained that one.
But if you are not listened to, take one or two others along with
you, so that every word may be confirmed by the evidence of two
or three witnesses. If the member refuses to listen to them, tell it
to the church; and if the offender refuses to listen even to the
church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax-collector.
Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in
heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
Again, truly I tell you, if two of you agree on earth about anything
you ask, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For
where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among
them.’

Cx :-)

'Emma'

'Emma' Report 5 Sep 2020 13:45

:-D :-D :-D :-D

Cynthia

Cynthia Report 5 Sep 2020 08:48

Good morning :-)


Hi Tabitha - don't work too hard! :-D


The end of our light-hearted week....


A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river”.

With even greater emphasis, he said “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.”

Finally, he said, “And if I had all the whisky in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” He sat down.

The organist, very cautiously and with a smile announced, “Our next hymn is No. 365 – Shall we Gather at the River?”.



Cx :-)

Tabitha

Tabitha Report 4 Sep 2020 16:24

Hope everyone is keeping well - just a flying visit - sorry so busy here doing a 12 hour day most days. I am sure it will slow down a bit soon.

Take care all

Cynthia

Cynthia Report 4 Sep 2020 10:38

Good morning.. :-)

Good to know that you are enjoying the smiles :-D


The Lord is my programmer, I shall not crash.

He installed His software on the hard disk of my heart. All of His commands are user friendly.

His directory guides me to the right choices for His name's sake.

Even though I scroll through the problems of life, I will fear no bugs, for He is my back-up.

His password protects me. He prepares a menu before me in the presence of my enemies.

His help is only a keystroke away.

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and my file will be merged with His and saved forever. – Amen


Cx :-)

SuffolkVera

SuffolkVera Report 3 Sep 2020 15:26

I agree Emma. Thank you Cynthia. It's good to start the day with a smile. :-)

'Emma'

'Emma' Report 3 Sep 2020 13:43

Cynthia a hidden talent of making people happy <3 :-)

kandj

kandj Report 3 Sep 2020 11:41

Hello all

Bright and sunny here today..... it's a blessing.

Thanks for the funny postings Cynthia. It's good to share our smiles.

Have a Happy Thursday and take care everyone.

Cynthia

Cynthia Report 3 Sep 2020 09:03

Good morning :-)

~~~~~ waves to Emma :-D



Continuing our light-heated week.

On Christmas afternoon, the vicar’s wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tired."

Her husband (the vicar), looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?"

"Dearest," she replied, "I had to listen to all of them."


Cx :-)

'Emma'

'Emma' Report 2 Sep 2020 13:15

Afternoon all,

Cynthia I love that :-)

Cynthia

Cynthia Report 2 Sep 2020 09:58

Good morning :-)


On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer replied: "Pastor, even if only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it."



Cx :-)

Cynthia

Cynthia Report 1 Sep 2020 09:04

Good morning :-)

I can imagine how you feel Gwyn and it sounds as though it all went well.

Our town, which used to have over 30 parishes, is now divided into 'Hubs' ......... shudders. I have yet to meet a happy person. Anyway, the hub in which I worship has 7 churches, out of which, 1 (the one I attend normally) is open for private prayer twice a week and another is open for an hour on a Sunday. One may attend this service or zoom. I have zoomed a few times, but it is not for me which saddens me immensely. Much too casual, much too chaotic for me to gain anything from it. No sign of communion in our hub yet. So........

I have taken myself off to the main church in the town centre where communion is offered, the service is conducted in a reverent and worshipful way and I come away 'fed'. I will still support the church I have been attending as much as I can, but I simply cannot take the 'dumbing down' of everything. All this has caused much soul searching and heartache at a time when I hoped to be gradually settling into my new way of life. Hey ho.

On to our light-hearted week :-D


The Vicar of a church was poorly one Sunday morning, so another clergyman was asked to cover.
As the substitute clergyman was greeting the congregation, he made the statement, "You know, a substitute vicar is like a piece of cardboard in a broken window. He fills the space, but after all, he's not the real glass." He then proceeded with his sermon.

After the service, a lady approached him trying to pay him a compliment by saying, "You weren't a replacement after all. You were a real pane." :-D


Cx :-)

Gwyn in Kent

Gwyn in Kent Report 31 Aug 2020 16:00

An outdoor service in the grounds of the main parish church for us yesterday.
The weather was kind and I could feel the warm sunshine, although there was a gentle breeze too.

And.... we sang hymns. Some of the choir were dotted around the grounds with their family groups, so that added to the sound.
We were all distanced from one another and were told we could sing quietly, but meaningfully... It was good.
Afterwards everyone chatted. It was lovely to see everyone again.

kandj

kandj Report 31 Aug 2020 15:33

Hello all

A dry but cloudy and cool B H Monday today.

Morning Praise in church yesterday but much too and cold/windy to stand about and chat to others outside after this was over.

Talk of HC service taking place 12th September, with obvious precautions in place to make this as safe for us all as possible given the Covid 19 is still around.

Enjoy your day, whatever you're are planning to do.

Cynthia

Cynthia Report 31 Aug 2020 09:34

Good morning :-)

That was an interesting comment Dermot. I have head of Holy Days of Obligation but am not familiar with them. I googled. I have saved the page for further reading. Thank you. :-D


As we are reaching the end of what tends to be known as 'The Silly Season', a light-hearted week for us........enjoy!

There is the story of a Sunday School teacher who asked her group of children if anyone could quote the entire 23rd Psalm. A golden-haired, four-and-a-half-year-old girl was among those who raised their hands.

A bit sceptical, the teacher asked if she could really quote the entire psalm.
The little girl came to the front of the room, faced the class, made a perky little bow, and said, “The Lord is my shepherd, that’s all I want.”

She bowed again and went and sat down.

That may well be the greatest interpretation of the 23rd Psalm ever heard.


Cx :-)

Dermot

Dermot Report 30 Aug 2020 12:36

'Holy Days of Obligation' - a familiar expression adhered to by many of my fellow Catholics of times gone by.

It's sadly missed at the moment.

Cynthia

Cynthia Report 30 Aug 2020 08:17

Good morning :-)


Good to see you again Sylvia..... :-D


The Collect (special prayer) for today:

Cx Almighty God,
whose only Son has opened for us
a new and living way into your presence:
give us pure hearts and steadfast wills
to worship you in spirit and in truth;
through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.


Cx :-)

SylviaInCanada

SylviaInCanada Report 29 Aug 2020 17:44

Boo!!

I'm still here, but we have some hot weather so the computer room gets a bit warm during the day!

I took another step ahead on Wednesday ........... OH had to have a colonoscopy done, a regular check-up after he had colon cancer back in 2005. That meant I had to get him from the day surgery afterwards, but I don't drive. Therefore I had to get a taxi ......... not been in one since January!!

I felt pretty safe, though you don't really know who's been in the taxi before you and how well the driver cleans it. There is a plexiglass shield cutting off the driver from the back, it extends from side to side and from the top to almost the floor, with a little gap at the bottom between the 2 front seats so you can pass money through to the driver. Driver wore a mask, and of course so did I. I had hand saniitizer with me, used it as soon as I got out at the hospital, and washed my hands immediately we got home.

He's fine .......... the usual "removed 2 polyps and return in 2 years" message was left with the nurse!!

The Baptist church across the street is still closed, but St Augustine's is holding regular Sunday morning service, and OH has been every Sunday so far, though he says all talk and no music is really boring.!

Cynthia

Cynthia Report 29 Aug 2020 09:45

Good morning :-)


Awww Emma, how lovely to see you. I have missed you :-D <3


Dear Lord,
Thank you for the grace of being alive today. Life goes by so quickly….please help me to live and love well and take nothing for granted. Please help me to be a good steward with my time, my health and all you’ve entrusted to me. Help me to let go of regret and all the things I cannot change. Help me to do my best and then trust everything else to your hands. Amen.

Cx :-)