General Chat

I dont claim to understand, and I am sure it is difficult to live with , in the hoarding form anyway.

Why dont people go in and just clear? Well, How would you like it if someone just walked in and cleared your house of the things you value and that make you feel secure? You wouldn't and nor should it happen.

My bro in law certainly verges on OCD- A bloke that has to hoover the whole house everyday, sounds like a womans dream, washes up and HAS to dry and put it all away, nothing can be left out or put down where he doesn't think it should be.
He doesn't hoard, he is the other extreme, never keeps anything.
Cant take your shoes off without putting them on a rack and putting slippers on. Walk from A>B in your socks just doesnt happen!
His life is full of what others would see as reasonably normal, but its when you see deeper, a routine that has to be followed, or he gets anxious
No idea why he does it, but he doesn't have a problem with it, its everyone else

It's obvious that some people who have responded have no idea how deep rooted these ocd problems are and how little help there is available. That's why Jasmine Harman is doing more on the subject and the doctor who spoke with her mother is pushing for it be recognised as needing more investigation to see how to deal with people who have the problem.

It's not as simple as just letting people take over, that freaks a lot of hoarders out as you saw by the way Mr Wallace was over something useless like the pink brolly. He was so lucky that Andy Honey tried to help him and then got others involved. Some of those snooty people in the village who probably moved there after Mr Wallace had lived there all his life and didn't know him at all, but just judged, were so up their own backsides I wanted to shake them. Little Hitler came to mind with the chap in the lilac sweater, who was chair of this and chair of that!

As for hoarders being reclusive, it's not always so. A lot of people go out and work and put on a front so people don't even know what things are like at home, just as Jasmine Harman's mum who worked outside the home and was a respected member of society.

I do wish people wouldn't suppose they know what should be done, when they obviously haven't a clue what it's like. I suppose they would be as impatient and unsympathetic if a friend or relative had the sort of ocd where they are constantly washing their hands or whatever. It's a hugely complicated illness and there aren't enough people to help sufferers with dealing with things.

I asked years ago for help and went to groups and sessions at our local Mental Health centre but because they didn't have anyone who knew how to deal with hoarding they just sent me to find my own counselling, which isn't ocd counselling, just ordinary counselling. It has helped me with lots of issues in my life but not with the hoarding altho the possible reasons are becoming clearer.

Jillian has expressed things very clearly and I can relate to you Jillian quite a lot. I have 'mourned' things I have got rid of and a friend who hoarded said the same thing, her husband once got rid of lots of coffee jars she had stored, while she was in hospital having their baby. She said she still mourned them to this day and I could really understand what a good word it was to express the way you feel when you do get rid of things.

Even one of my gps has the same problem and as Linda says it is an illness and people should realise it. If I came on here and said I had a bad illness people would commiserate with me but an ocd illness is mocked hence the stigma in mentioning it in the past.

I hope they will go back and see if Mr Wallace has managed to clear his home further and get his life back.

There should be more Andy Honey's in this world, I hope those who sneered at Mr Wallace feel embarrassed now they have been shown to be so supercilious on national tv.

I was disappointed with the psychologist tho, he should have tried to help more than he did. Didn't surprise me tho as I have seen it happen before to a friend's husband, he was sort of written off because he wouldn't say yes to everything suggested.

Lizx

I think its a illness and should be treated like one

It really does hit you when you get a call from the police who are in attendance with the Fire Service and they can't get into a house where the resident hasn't been seen for weeks.

Bedroom window taken out, staff start clearing 'stuff' make a crawl space and after about 10' spot a leg. Confirm to Police that there is a body and then asked to clear a route to the body (which was decomposed) in order for the Fire Service to effect the retrieval.

I still have photos of properties where hoarders lived in absolute filth BUT it was their choice and only because the property was not privately owned could an order for clearance be issued on H & S grounds.

Sue

We are both the children of hoarders. Consequently neither of us have ever really seen proper housework carried out.

We do our best but it is hard not to do the things you learned from birth.

We had a friend with this. He couldn't throw anything away at all, because he was frightened something 'important' might go with it. I would visit sometimes, his kitchen was full of rotting food and milkbottles with sour milk in the bottom. But he would scarcely let me throw anything either. Eventually he moved away, goodness only knows what it's like now.

I can understand that to hoard might be a comfort and a way to 'control' your life and surroundings if you've not had 'things' in the past, or as a 'representative' of love if you've not had that .

Surrounding yourself with things, either that give you pleasure or because they might be useful... but what I can't fathom is how one could cope when that becomes a barrier to day to day living because you can't move or cook or see the telly.

You've surrendered the control that maybe was the root cause of it in the first place, eg in Jillians case, her mum had the 'control' of Jillians environment. But perhaps it's not about control? I don't know but I do feel for the people who have to live with it...from both sides.

My Lovely friend suffers with ocd, from over cleaning to over checking, she cant stay in the house over night by herself, and when her father died she went into melt down and had to stay in hospital for six months. I saw her last week and she was bad again because her mum has had a stroke.

Jillian with regards the first bit of your post,
Everyone has OCD. It just depends on how severe or not the problem is. Lots of people never have a clue that they have the condition,

Surely when one recognises they have the condition then this should be the time to address it. You can obviously pin point the reason for hoarding as lack of affection in your childhood. Yes some degree of understanding is needed for anyone with this sort of illness, but lets look at this in a sensible way. Regardless of what home you live or where you keep your hoard, it’s a dangerous health hazard not only for the hoarders but it does affect other people. Its unhygienic and often as Chris and Kay has pointed out a fire hazard. Its ok to ask for peoples understanding, but unless they live in a solitary house in the middle of nowhere, hoarding has a knock affect that spreads beyond your family, like neighbours perhaps .I don’t want to smell rotting garbage because someone cant bare the thought of parting with a binliner full of rotting food. I don’t want the risk of vermin invading my home, which I keep reasonably clean and tidy. I don’t to want the run the risk of loosing my family and home to a fire, which could be caused by a hoarders house going off like a firework and setting the whole street a light. And last but not least lets try and consider the poor people that eventually have to clear these hoarders Aladdin’s caves , because someone will have too, either by family or the council workers.

Jillian, can I ask what the book was? just in case someone on here might help find it?

Everyone has OCD. It just depends on how severe or not the problem is. Lots of people never have a clue that they have the condition. Someone may just think that they are very particular about having an extremely tidy house but this can be an obsession and therefore fits the profile for an OCD. I know that I have it in masses but I try to not let it control my life. I find it difficult to pass stuff on when it is of no further use to me but I understand the reason why which helps me to be strong and not be a worse hoarder than I already am. It can be triggered or can be caused by a deep-seated emotional trauma which it was in my case. I could only have been five or six years old when I came home one day to find that my mother had got rid of all my toys and books. I still remember them and I'm still looking for one very favourite book in particular even after more than four decades. And because I was always classed as useless, treated as an inanimate object and not wanted, it may sound silly but I always feel so sad when say a pen that has run out must be discarded because my parents and sister always wanted to discard me. The fact is, as a child, I got more affection from a packet of felt-tip pens than any living person.

I also believe that OCDs are on a similar spectrum to ASDs Autistic Spectrum Disorders. Trust me. I have a family with masses of OCDs and all have some level of ASD.

Like Autism, it's an invisible disability. If someone doesn't understand or appreciate it, they can be cruel and without understanding for anyone with it. I don't know if everyone can be helped but a little kindness and understanding goes a long way towards it.

J

Just think of all the illnesses that can be picked up from hoarding stuff,,,,,chest problems with the mites that live in junk,
when these hoarders realise they are having problems throwing stuff away then why dont they seek help from family to help them get rid of it instead of waiting till its so bad that it gets beyond control,even the embarresment to their familes has no effect.

this hoarding is emotional stemmed surely,,,why dont someone move in an clear it while these people are out..........mind these hoarders tend never to go outside their surroundings....

That just highlights the dangers of hoading Chris, luckily she was out shopping but ti could of effected her neighbours as well she was lucky and so was they.

You'e right Liz we all have some ocd tendencies never realy thought about that. I have to have the hand towel 1 3rd through the ring and 2 down, the curtains drawn right over left etc etc. Given me food for thought you have. Elaine Merry xmas love :-) :-) :-)

Reminds me to a degree of my g.aunt's house even in early seventies she was still bundlding old newspapers and tying with string (as done during WW2) however she did not then give to bin man but put bundle on each stair. Last time i could barely walk up stairs to take daug to toilet as bundles on each side of stairs.

She was the family historian and she had photos of all - sad to say she had a house fire - the place went up like a tinder and it was a wipeout. She escaped she was out shopping.

did you read about the guy whose ceiling caved in?

he had over 50 boxes of magazines stached in his loft.......and it gave way, nearly killed him!!

Bob

That was probably the Jasmine Harman one with her mother having to clear stuff, I contacted Jasmine after show as did many many others with the same problem and she has started a website for us to make contact with others, sufferers and their families too who do find it hard to understand live with. A friend of mine is married to a man who has collected newspapers for years, she has turned to the church to get away from her problems at home. At least bringing things to the fore shows others that we can't help the way we are, it's not an intentional thing and they are recognising it as a major medical problem at last so hopefully will train people to help us through cbt and other methods.
Jasmine plans to do further programmes about it and asked if I would be on one, I couldn't face showing the world my situation, my son would be mortified.

Well done for getting rid of the clothes Gwen, I have a lot that I won't wear again so should do the same, just really hard.

Lizx

SAW A PROGRAME THE OTHER WEEK
IT WAS VERY HARD FOR THE WOMAN,,

IM JUST UNTIDY BUT STILL BUY MORE JUNK,STARTED TO CLEAR OUT MY CLOTHES ,,YOU KNOW THE ONES YOU HOPE TO FIT IN SOME DAY
GAVE FRIEND 15 PRS OF JEANS & 22 T SHIRTS ,,,

The above programme is on this evening on Channel 4, my o.h.'s son mentioned it to me when he phoned last evening as he wants to watch it, said it sounded interesting and I am hoping it helps him understand that I am not lazy or mad, and that ocd is a difficult illness to have.

I had already seen it advertised so will be recording it and watching it later when o.h. is in bed, even if he watches it he will not acknowledge that I cannot just throw things out or get rid of things easily.

I know there are others on the boards who have similar problems, it's easy to tut tut at us hoarders but try putting yourselves in our shoes for a moment. Almost everyone has ocd tendencies in one way or another and it only takes a stressful situation or trauma of some kind to push us into full blown ocd whether it manifests itself in hoarding, cleaning or some other form of the illness.

Lizx