General Chat

My Mum died in 1995, my Dad had died in 1990, that feeling that you are now an orphan is a strange one no matter what age you are when it happens, I was 47. It took me a long time to stop thinking I should be ringing to check she was ok or to tell her some gossip or news etc, the feelings do change and the pain eases but it's early days for you yet, Linda.
I hope you will find solace in the happier memories of times spent with your Mum and know that one day you will see her again.

Lizx

Hi Helen & Flo, I am so sorry about your loss, thank you for your words of comfort and encouragement it truly is a help. Bless you. Linda.

Hello Linda,

Sorry about your loss,

I agree with everyone else ! you never get over losing your mother,You,re more likely to learn to live with your memories of her.
I lost mine 1966 , even now if i talk long enough about her and my father who died 1974 i i feel some of the pain i felt back then!

But i find the more you talk about your memories of them makes you stronger it makes me feel that they are right beside me when i need them
the most.

So enjoy your memories! its more healthier . god bless.

Flo

Hi Linda, no, you will never get over missing your Mum.

Mine died in 1978, she was only 44 so I was a teenager. I think about her every day, I consider what her opinion would have been of everything I do.

But of course I have accepted that she has gone and you will, too. And the pain does go away, I promise you.

A person's memory never fades but we have to live our lives, even if it is without people we love. I just strive to be the person my Mum would have wanted me to be.

xxx to you. It will get easier.

Thanks Ann, I'm sorry about your Mum. Your words are a great comfort to me. Take care Ann. Linda. x

Hi Linda, so sorry for your loss.
My mum died in 1995 and I still miss her but the pain is not so hard to bear now.
I also still sometimes say I must show mum this or mum would like that.
It is so true that time is a great healer but its so hard all the same.
keep you chin up pet.
Ann xx

Thank you all for your support,hugs,encouragement and words of comfort and wisdom. Linda. xxx

If you have a faith and a belief in an afterlife you might find it helpful to take time out for yourself, to look around and see how beautiful creation is, how miraculous nature is. It might be comforting to know that your Mum is not far away, that she is still sharing in your life, watching over you, knowing your love for her. She will be willing you on, wanting to hold your hand as you move forward through your life, for if creation is so uncomprehendable, there is also so much that we don't understand, but it doesn't mean that it isn't so. Cry lots and she will be with you, and you will be comforted by her presence. Thinking of you.

Linda, I do feel for you.like others have said it is still so raw for you.I am the same as Carol, I am always saying oh wait until I tell mum that, she will laugh. It will be 5 years on the 28th of this month since we lost mum and I am quite far away from all my family but as time goes by I think more of my mum laughing at things as she always did. You will soon start thinking of your mum and the happy times you all had together. take care.
Love Sylvia xx

Thank you everyone, I will include you and your loved ones past & present in my prayers tonight. Linda. x

Oh Ann, the times I have said to my husband must ask dad he will know. But isn't that nice that they are so remembered. I hope my children will still be thinking of me 20 yrs later lol.

Carol

A very big thank you to each and everyone of you, I cant put into words how you have helped me this evening. Again thank you. Linda. XXXXXX

I have pm'ed you Linda

As others have said Linda, you probably never get over losing your Mum, but you do come to accept that she is no longer here. My Mum died in 1994 but I still think 'I must tell Mum that' when something happens. Not all the time but sometimes.

It helped a bit writing my life story as I was writing about Mum too and that sort of brought her close and reminded me of little things.

Do come on here and talk about her if it helps. I expect the next few months will be hard as you will be facing another 'first' without her, Christmas will be hard for you.

(((((hugs))))) for you :-)

Linda what I am trying to say is I still miss my dad the pain was unbearable, but now I think of him with great affection and it does not hurt.

You will survive it is human nature.

Carol <3

Hi Linda

I lost my mum 3yrs ago last month, I still miss her so much. More so as i have just become a nan again to twin girls. My mum would have loved to have hold them.

I know she is looking down on them.

As will your mum with you.

You will have hard times to come but as Jude said you grow to accept it.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))for you.

Hazelx

jude, Carol & Jane, thank you for kind words & support. It does mean a lot. Thank you again. Linda. x

Hello Linda......

l lost my mum in 1981, oh my word thats such a long time ago and l miss her like mad. The first 2 - 3yrs were the worst. l could actually get emotional now, but its different, we grow to accept l think. With you it is still so new, it does get easier, you never forget, but you learn how to deal with it.

Take care
Do you have family at home to occupy you??

jude xx

Linda, in my case it was my dad as my mother left me when I was only 9. My father died 20 yrs ago and I still miss him. I still have his flat that I kept empty for 10 yrs. used to go and just sit there. My son moved in and has just left, I had a buyer but I backed out last minute cannot bare to break the link. But it will get better for you, time is a great healer.

Carol :-)

Hi Linda.
I'm sorry you are finding it difficult after losing your Mum.It is still very early days ,but is natural you feel like this.I think the first 12 months will be the hardest.I lost my Mum 6 years ago,and for that first year with all the 'special' dates was very hard.As the years have passed it has got easier,and not as tearful.Just happy memories,and a good few laughs at times of remembering funny times.I find it good to talk to my sister on the phone about Mum.I have a good old natter and talk about the good times and the weird times when she had Dementia.We could write a book lol
You will be fine Linda,you are still going through the grieving time now.
Jane xx