General Chat

One thing I have noticed in talking to the families of other stroke victims is that they seem to emphasize what they can't do. Well,the old man can't speak Japanese or play the banjo but then he never could.

You start on what they can't do and you are faced with endless possibilities.Think of what they can do and you have something to build on.

That is very true, if I only look back 12 months, I could do very little. Now I read, use pc, chat to friends, can shower (OH stays in b'room) need a little assistance with undressing/dressing, most important this one can visit toilet alone, can stand in kitchen and supervise/give advice as to cooking, walk around house unassisted and although I have a stair lift, each day (it has taken 10 months starting with one stair) I walk upstairs and then down again hanging on to bannister, I do not have any puff after but OH insists it must do me good! Can visit library and some stores using my stroller.

Better than wallowing in how useless you are now.Where's the challenge in that?

None - I just hope he finds some fight - perhaps as he sleeps less. We already knew we were fortunate with me and his stroke has made us even more grateful but wish we could do something for him.

We just have to support his family and pass on advice etc. She will need all when he comes home.

My Mum had a slight stroke one time she was already in hospital after a heart attack and again at home, so when she tried to talk to us she couldn't make up a sentence, she would get stuck on a word and go back to the beginning. I used to sort of laugh it off with Your needle's stuck again Mum, and after a bit she would give us the full sentence and she was lucky enough to get back to normal after a fairly short time.

I am sure positive pushing is the best way forward - I think you, Sharron, should write a handbook with her comic tales interspersed. It would be a boon to anyone in your situation.


Lizx

I have done a bit of an article but it isn't finished. I think having to write a load of cack at primary school put me off writing up anything. There are copious mediaeval notes here that are still just that,notes.

Well,he was a brave boy today. Came home from the village lunch looking very happy even though he had dropped and broken his beer on the way up there and they didn't put a whole strawberry on the pudd'n.Only a slice.

He likes to go up there because they make a fuss of him and he doesn't get that here!

Sharron, your tales about your Dad and the things he gets up to plus the comments you make and your wonderful attitude to his illness would make such inspiring reading to anyone in that situation, sufferer or carer.

"Well,he was a brave boy today. Came home from the village lunch looking very happy even though he had dropped and broken his beer on the way up there and they didn't put a whole strawberry on the pudd'n.Only a slice."

Cracked me up lol! Keep up the good work!
Does your Dad know he is famous on here lol

Lizx

Hope not!

Liz.he isnot ill,he is very well in fact. He is inconvenienced.Aren't we all?

Well yes, that's a good way to put it, illness wasn't my best choice of word.

And yes, aren't we all indeed, in one way or another!

Lizx

I can go along with that I have been heard to frequently squawk 'I'm not sick, I can do it'. Whatever 'it' may be. Son usually gets it when he visits as dear love him, he gets up to help me off chair/settee. OH has frequently told him - ignore her, if she gets stuck, she will yell!!!

If you are told you are ill you will be.

I think this may be where I got it a bit right. He was in hospital for six months which is where you go if you are ill.Now he was hom where you go when you are better so he had better behave like he was better not sit thinking about his misfortunes.

Also,it was his stroke,not mine.His having a stroke was not gong to turn me into Mother Teresa.We fought and bickered before and we still do.He may have lost some faculties but he is still the old git who rubs me up the wrong way!

Tonight we had a phone call from his wife. He passed away this morning. Over fifty years of memories of laughter mainly. We feel so sad and yet part of us feels relief that he is free again. We will miss you so much. Night Night.

Chris, I am sorry for his wife, and all the family and friends but as you say, there has to be relief too that he is no longer trapped in that poor body, and will not be undergoing the stress of being moved around and feeling a burden perhaps.

I hope his wife can find comfort in the happier memories of laughter and good times, and will manage to go on without him to care for. It would have put a huge strain on her and maybe made her ill too.

May he rest in peace now.

Lizx

Chris, I woke this morning and thought of the person who had had the stroke, so sending prayers and positive thoughts,

Sharon has given such sensible advice, there is little that I can add, except to say that the family should have some sort of support from the professionals, and know that it is perfectly normal to be angry, distressed, loving and concerned all at the same time, have they contacted the Stroke Organisation, the address is normally in Yellow Pages,, they are very knowledgeable and helpful,
Sharon, How I agree that the small treats such as a cup of tea and a biscuit, a few chocolates and saying Thank you to the helpers goes a long way.

Bridget
06.45hours Spain

So sorry to hear of the death of this man,

Whole again now.

Now I'm off!

As you may have seen on the depression thread, my dad caught his wheel in a drain cover,right by the medical centre where all the wheelchair users go,and fell from his wheelchair.

Speaking to the parish clerk it seems the drain has been reported before,which leads me to remember the kerb which has not been dropped on the dangerous corner by our home although I asked for it to be done four years ago and social services have asked them.

I am steaming,somebody is in for an earfull!

Sharron, City and County Councillors come to mind especially County Councillors as Highways, Paths etc come under county. Health and Safety comes to mind. Could not the Medical Centre complain to County too?

I agree they are slow, as a Parish Councillor we were chasing for a lowered kerb and one night a fellow Councillor suggested we take a shovel and a bag of ready mix late one n ight.

Anyway they were so slow that eventually we did not need the kerb lowered so go girl, go!!!

Thank you all for your thoughts. We talked last night and this morning and feel that their sons and their families will too feel relief amongst the pain and grief.

I have just heard from someone on here that the gentleman concerned has passed away.
Please accept my deepest condolences and i will remember them all in m,y daily quiet time.
RIP

Bridget
16.54 hrs Spain

Thank you Bridget. Much appreciated.