General Chat

My roots are in IOM and research has showed that very often when a young mum died (usually mums) her sister moved in to take care of children and within 2-3 months they had married. Now it was against the law to marry a SIL or BIL but they got over that by going to another parish where the vicars must have just turned a blind eye.

My gran lost her first 2 children both around a year old to convulsions caused by teething. She never forgot them apparently and I have studio photos of both of them - hard to tell girl from boy but one babe has a bit more lace on the frock!

A mother will never forget a child and one child will never replace another.

Have to agree, dont think it matters what century you lived in.......losing a child does not bear thinking about........losing a child you could not nourish and keep warm, must have been unbearable.

My great gran died March 1901, her OH was remarried June 1901...he was left with five small children......the alternative to remarriage in those days was I suppose the workhouse!

Annx

I don't believe we should judge the actions of our ancestors. I often have people comment on the fact that an ancestor married very soon after the death of their spouse. With no welfare benefits how on earth was a woman supposed to look after her children and how was a man to work if he had a young family and a household to run?

I have also heard comments that people were used to losing their young children as infant mortality rates were very high. When I look at a photo of my paternal great grandmother I can't believe that she took the 4 children she lost in her stride. She looks sad and weary - the photo was taken only months after she lost 2 infants and a fourteen y.o. son. Two years before that she lost a 2 y.o. You would have no choice but to carry on but it would be with a heavy heart I'm sure.

Sue

as opposed to years ago when skeletons had to remain in the cupboard-nowadays I feel that everyone [or most of us]hopes for a "Jack the Ripper" to turn up and be able to dine out on the story for ever.My own mother always frowned on her children looking up the past.It wasnt until she had "passed" that I found that her and her siblings had a [lovely] mother[good old gran!] who wasnt married to their father!!!!!!!!! Oh the shame!!!!!!!!!!!

I am just conjuring up the image of you walking down the aisle with a Ferret!

Huia - NEVER - he did not have any energy left (or money) after coping with me!!!!!!!

Hey, Chris, how can you be sure your OH doesnt have a couple of other wives hidden away somewhere?

Huia, tongue in cheek.

LOL again Chris. Brilliant description!

LOL Chris!!

It certainly makes research more interesting! Strange thing is that this is about the fifth person in this family to either make an approach to cousin or myself and don't want to know about g.gdad or his siblings - three times we have sent details of mariages and been cut off,

This I find it amusing that I am blamed for it and she is looking for all sorts of excuses for g.granny! The last marriage took place in 1903 for goodness sake.

OH's maternal gfather is the worst (I have posted this before) just a few months ago discovered he had committed bigamy FOUR times. He was a skinny wee runt with a face like a ferret. I wouldn't spit on him. Am very grateful OH neither inherited his looks or morals!!!!

Sounds as though gran took the common sense approach and got herself a new man - how else was she to support her family?

For some reason there is this perception that previous generations were extremely prudish, strictly brought up and whiter than white. In fact, this was a long way from the truth. The only difference there wasn't the state to bale you out if you got caught short.

I really don't see why someone should be upset about finding out the truth of what happened years ago. You can't change it now, like it or not.

A few days ago a lady contacted me (not through GR) and I knew very well the g.gparents she was chasing - what info she had was completely wrong due to incorrect info being posted on internet and about 7 trees taken off it - all incorrect.

I gave her corrected dates and she asked for more info. Fair enough I asked her could she accept that our ancestors were not always whiter than white. Oh yes we all make mistakes - her words.

Until I sent her a census, and 2 marriage certificates both of her g.gma marrying as a spinster and her father was the same, with same occupation but two different men!

Now informs me she reckons gran was abandoned - well yes she was - he went to S.Africa to fight the Boer War. did not die there but gran was remarrying 5 months after Boer War finished and she had had 2 children - one living.

But apparently this is my fault.