General Chat

Hello Susan..

Thank you for your update:o)
Thats good, your MIL is settling in:o)
l would say my friend definately recognises people still. She does'nt stop talking once she starts bless her, but its difficult to understand all of it.
Her OH said this evening even he found it harder to understand her.

l might talk to her tomorrow, will ask the home first see what they say, don't want to rush things.

Take care everyone especially with familes in simular situation.

jude x

Hi Jude,

The first time we visited, MIL wanted to know if OH had come to get her out of this place.. Visited again last Sunday and there we no questions. She seems relaxed, doesn't have a lot of conversation as I think her mind finds it hard to keep up . I don't know that she recognises us instantly, more of she knows she should know us.

SIL has said that MIL is in the best place for 24 hour care so that is good.

Thank you for your concern,

Susan

Susan-nz......how is your M I L, has she settled ok?? l do hope so.

jude x

Evening....

Have just spoken to friends husband:o)

Daughters visit went very well, she recognised her and was very pleased to see her:o) Also her husband visited this evening, again she was really pleased to see him.
She must be feeling quite relaxed there, she has people to talk to, she can wounder about....all sounds good:o) Such a relief for everyone!!


Barbra....l'm sure l saw a post from you this morning, l was gong to respond to it, or was it on another thread?? or am l going daft...lol

jude x

Morning...

Just phoned the home:o))

She slept well last night, had her breakfast and is fine.He daughter had just arrived to visit, her first visitor!!
Yesterday apparently because of no sleep the night before she spent best part of the day asleep in a chair, bless her ....... and she slept alnight, she must have been exhausted.

jude x

Great news Jude, hope your friend will be ok and maybe can have some meds so she sleeps at night, it's safer for her and she would probably enjoy the days more too

I am glad the brother and sister are getting on now and can support each other and their Dad. A united family is so much easier for them all so they can cope with the situation.

Lizx

That sounds like a good start Jude. I hope she continues to feel settled there and is happy.

Hello again....

Friend went into home yesterday, very happy, started chatting to everyone, sat down to breakfast, fine:o)
l phoned in the evening and she was chatting to a member of staff, who unfortunately could'nt understand her, but they were getting on fine.
She had her bath as usual but did'nt sleep much, she just wondered around, which does sometimes. This morning she was having her cuppa when l phoned and was fine:o))
l'm going to talk to her on the phone tomorrow or Thursday, give her time to settle. Same with her family they will visit from tomorrow.
Her son and daughter are getting on, he's spoke to his sister last night and was very supportive and understanding....atlast!! We realise he's been finding it very hard to take in but if only he had told someone that , but everyone is different!

We're just hoping now that this is'nt the calm before the storm and that she continues to settle!!

jude

Jude,

I hope your friend's family can pull together over this latest situation with the respite care and possible permanent move to the home. Her husband and daughter especially need some time to recover from the difficulties of caring for your dear friend and if they see she has settled happily it might be kinder to leave her at the home if possible so that they can have a bit of life back to themselves and know she is being well cared for. If it's nearby they can visit often even tho it might be that she stops recognising them completely.
Do keep us posted, and take care yourself, I know you must be upset at seeing this happen, even tho you know it's probably the best for everyone.

Lizx

Jude ~~

Yes please,re updates.. I'm sure we all share your concern.. having been in a similar situation myself.
I'm sure she's in the best place, I was speaking to someone from the Altimeters Society who told me it was 'not a good idea' to try and look after the patient yourself, especially if you work, hubby and and I were at the time.

Jovea~~
Your BiL is a diamond:)

Sandie.x

Lovely messages thank you:o)

Joeva & Susan........it is such a hard decision to make. Joe what an amazing man your b i l is.
Susan - l do hope all goes well for your M i l.

In our situation the family are finding it hard to sleep(amongst other things) (friend was awake all night , night before last) and communicate with her, and the daughter is seeing someone other than her mother!!!!
The son is the one who is'nt understanding things now, hopefully he will be at a gathering tomorrow....family want to talk about what they take in with her etc...
l was with them all for a week, a couple of weeks ago and she kept standing up putting her arms out to me, giving me the most wonderful cuddle and kissing my ear!!! and she whispered "l love you"....phewwww, as you can imagine that got to me!
But we all know this is the right thing todo. She is very agitated and gets aggresive towards her daughter, who is only 25yrs old.

If you want l will let you know how she settles in!!??

Take care
jude x

Reading about Jude's friend and all the distress her illness caused those who were looking after her has made me once again so much appreciate the love and care given by my brother-in-law to my beloved sister who had this illness for ten years. He cared for her in their own home and would not entertain any suggestions from outsiders that she should go away to looked after. At the age of 79 she died on 26/11/10. He is 83 and in March this year they would have been married for 60 years.

Hi Jude,
Hopefully you're friend will settle in at the home and get round the clock attention to enable her to still have a life. Im glad her family are communicating better and that her husband has accepted things. It can't be easy to watch somebody you love dearly go into such a decline.
I wish them all the best.

Cath xx

I hope all goes well for your friend now Jude and that she likes it in the home. Hopefully it is a good one and she will get the best attention. It is good that her husband now accepts the situation and that he and his daughter are now able to talk.

Hello Jude,

My MIL went into a home last Friday, initially for 20 days respite care with possiblity of 40 days. She suffers from Alzheimers also. My SIL has been looking after her Mum for the last three years and is finding it very hard to let go.

She has a husband and young family too look after and has been an absolute brick looking after MIL.

My OH is hoping after the respite that his Sister will be able to accept that MIL is in the best place.

It is so hard to watch the dengeneration of your loved one.

I wish your friend well and that her family can pull together, not an easy ask.

Regards,

Susan

Thought l would update on my friend with alzheimers.

Sadly my friend goes into a home on Monday, initially for 2 weeks respite, If all goes well she will stay there.

Husband is now very aware of what is going on and he and daughter are communicating better!!

jude x

Jude so pleased that you were able to give your friend so much pleasure this weekend and also that you could talk to her husband. I hope that a solution can be found for them all.

Det....mmm you could be right!!

Thank you Cath.

jude xx

Jude, I have only just read this thread and sad as the situation is, your friend is very lucky to have you in her life. Her husband must be devastated to see the woman he loves suffering from this awful illness. Im glad you had a nice weekend together and hope that a suitable place can be found for her so that her family can enjoy the time they spend with her instead of struggling to cope. Her daughter is deserving of a life of her own too and Dad will have to realise this.
Take care,

Cath xx

Glad you all had a good time :-)

Perhaps your friend's OH is like a lot of men - can't express their feels, or perhaps he is trying to spare their daughter? What ever the reasoning, its good that it all out in the open. At least you can relax a little now that 'everyone' knows the situation.