General Chat

Seeing as his luck was in
Farmer Giles gave a grin
"I've always valued anyhow
a woman who can milk a cow
and get the grip quite firm but gentle".
And feeling therefore sentimental
Farmer Giles and Mrs too
blew out the candles....well! Woohoo!

LOL

Oer Missus...we're not past the watershed yet :)

Meanwhile.............back at the farm:


Daisy, with hair so fair, lips so red (well, almost rare!)
looked at the Farmer,
in dismay
"Sir you'll have hell to pay
if my dear Papa.............Parson Weeks
his wife you took to bed for peeks
at her in underclothes so white,
Why, she must have looked a proper fright!!!

Should I call you Pa, or Farmer Giles?
Pray put aside that awful pile
of bovine muck and slush and stuff"

and with that went off in a huff!

Mrs Giles (so stout and stern) faced her 'usband in return
and said in voice, all quiet and serene
"Maybe you aint such a has-been!

Come 'ere my dear, my stag, my love,
my angel, my true turtle dove

I knew not that you were able
to sow your oats neath Parson's table!

I think I might enjoy one night
of pure ecstatic fun tonight".

Encore, encore!!!! *throws roses onto thread*

Love

Daff xxxx

Bravo, bravo... more...more ...more :)))))

To leave the tale would be unfair
the happy end is not quite there.
Doris found upon the seas
that fresh air seagulls, waves did please,
"My Golly gee this is the life
I'm born to be a sailor's wife!"
And Sam the sailor thought the same
there was one small thing he must name
" Dear Sam, please tell me you have never been
near Ellesmere upon the Green?"

Assured that Sam was not related
Doris feeling quite elated
wed her sailor there and then
and never missed her home again.

Back on land poor Eric too
noticed Daisy's eyes, their hue
so suspiciously like his
he wondered "is she really Sis?"
And caught the mail coach straight that day
which took him on the very way
that Doris went, to Scouser Land
Where finally he won the hand
of Rose the barmaid, plain but truer
whose dad was quite the master brewer.
So ends this little local tale.
one question...who now fills the pail?

xx

That was absolutely brilliant, lol..... my keyboard, too, Mo, lol!

Love

Daff xxxxxx

Great thread you two
But I must remember NOT to have a drink while reading it
Cleans keyboard yet again
lol

Brilliant Rose and Jac :-)))

lol Urban Fox, I haven't eaten yet...when I have will add a bit more

xx

I have enjoyed reading this. I even put off cooking my own dinner until the end. lol

Now Daisy, the Parson's errant daughter
was doing something she didn't oughter!

She dressed in silk and satin so
and to the Farmyard she did go:

"Where's that fine Eric?", she did state
to his mother - washing plate:

Whereupon old Farmer Giles,
who was outside shifting piles (of horse muck)
espied this fair and tubby lass
and said "By George, this is a pass -
she looks just like Florence Weeks
whoes fancy once I tried to tweak!"

Now here's the thing - which we all know
don't be fooled by bits of paper
birth and death and wills and taper

When you think you know your brother - just make sure
he knows his mother!


I'm off to cook the dinner! )))

And casting down her irksome yoke
Doris did pick up her cloak
and from her bonnet shook the dust.
"Farewell Mother, now I must,
with haste ,take myself all away
to travel to Americay
There to search for Fred my Pa
I think he didn't travel far,
cross continent for many mile
I 'll bet he stayed near Ellis Isle"

"Mother, I am all a shock
my food I have spilt down my frock,
too late to change I must be gone
I nearly was so put upon,
to wed the son of Mrs Giles!
I'm better off to travel miles
and see what lies at journey's end
to be upset you can't pretend
you would have wed me heartless mother
to Eric, who is my half brother!"

Ethel, taken in a shock
wrung her hands and creased her smock:

"Oh daughter, daughter I'll tell thee
just afore yee have to flee

Yer dad, old Fred, he was a bounder
fancied someone much more rounder

He went a-courting to the farm,
and thou he didnt mean no harm
Mrs Giles he did a-bed,
and all the while that we were wed!!!!
He got his oats at that there farm
using all his wiles and charm!"

Doris stood before her 'mither'
" Now give me none of that there blither,
tell the truth Ma tell it now
I haven't come here for a row,
just to learn what fate befell
'fess up, tell truth and tell it well.
Did he die, or did he flee
it makes the world of diff'rence see"

"If he still lives , then I will seek
Leavin' Eric to feel 'Week'
That Daisy is much more his kind
he likes them with a large behind
and hers is plump , just like her mums
She'll be his when picking plums
is farmers work, in late July
Now there's the mail coach I must fly!"

Meanwhile, on t'other side of town
her face, wearing an awful frown
sat Parson's daughter Daisy Week
her hair and make-up she did tweak.

"I'll capture Eric's heart I know,
for he will want to be my beau.
But there is talk, or so I hear
of someone else he's holding dear -
seems young Doris (with no dad)
is casting eyes at my young lad.
I'll scratch her eyes out, dont you know
and she will simply have to go".

Errant dads ( as general rule )
head for ports, like Liverpool,
where work was of hard manual kinds
on shipping of the merchant lines
and if one saved up every tip
one might then travel on a ship
to pastures new. And there was talk
That Fred had made it to New York.

When we were lassies or wee lads
twas tricky to trace errant dad's
( Some say it's much the same today
and blame it on the CSA)
But Doris , ever undetered
went back through everything she'd heard
about the man whose name was Fred,
who might be living , might be dead
and though it was a mammoth task
around the neighbourhood did ask,
of all and sundry their advice.
If heard it once she'd heard it twice,
that 'cans of worms' were best left closed
and 'Mother's version' unopposed.

Whilst Eric ate his nightly fare
young Doris, she did sit and stare
into the distance, far and wide
"I wonder if my dad did ride......
or as my ma said, that he died.

I need my Pa, he'll save my soul
and from this dank and awful hole
he'll sweep me up and take me hither
and hopefully he'll not take Mither" (Yokel for Mother!!)

Back to her milking she did go
having neither friend nor foe
to keep her dream of fortunes new
(though they were so very few)
She kept her eyes upon the feet
of those smelly pongy beasts

"Alas, alack I have no choice - it's either this
or then the udder!"

(sorry about that folks!)))