General Chat

I am totally stunned at the amount of messages I have had about bullying. I just didn't realise how much it goes on. I didn't have a clue.
Its not just the bullying its the effect it has on the family. To think I let my children go to school where they are suppose to be safe. I know most schools have policies and have stamped it out but how must he have been feeling every morning when he got up. I saw no signs at all and that makes me feel so guilty as I am the one who is suppose to protect my children

I will update you all this evening but I am dreading tomorrow when he has to go back. When I spoke to the school this morning I was told that the heads were not there today and I would be seeing his tutor as it is review day. I explained what was going on (couldn't help but cry) to reception and demanded that some one in authority be there as this was assault and they rang back to say she would be there. She said she had no idea it was going on. Well one bloomin teacher did as she was the one who filled me in on everything. She must have been looking for me outside the gates as after she spoke to me she went back into the school. Its all very odd
x

My son was tall for his age at junior school and he was being bullied because of it . He complained of a pain in his chest and was sent to hospital they said one more kick and he would have had broken ribs.
I did go to school and saw his head teacher who got the boy who did it, he never did it again. You must speak to either his form teacher or his head teacher before someone really gets hurt.

Good luck for tonight,hope you can get it sorted out.

Just a quick update. Spoke to the school today and we are meeting with the head of year, tutor and head of year 11 at 6.30pm tonight. Callum needs to identify them but he says he doesn't think he can (wont or can't I don't know) I don't want to push him to much. He has agreed to show the teachers the bruises but wont go to the doctors. They have told me that they wont tolerate bullying so will see what happens tonight. I didn't sleep to well last night and just want to get this sorted

Thanks to everyone for last night

Marcelle

I am sorry for your son, and you have been given lots of good advice. I hope you have or will manage to speak to the head and get this sorted out.
Some arnica on the bruising will help it heal quicker.

Why not get both your lads into some kind of martial arts group or similar so that altho they cannot use the martial arts as such, they will learn how to defend themselves, even a self defence class might help, he would gain confidence if he felt he could stand up for himself more.

Hope he continues to do well as school and those nasty tykes get punished.

Lizx

Sorry to hear about your son Marcelle. Hope that you can get it sorted, you need to keep on at the school until they do something about it. I would be inclined to phone the police too, if only for some advice.

My son was bullied at school for a while and it was made worse because he had been told not to retaliate by the teachers. I went up to the school and told the headmaster that I told him he had to stand up for himself and fight back!! Whether it was right or wrong of me, it worked for him.

Mind you, he's 6 foot 4 and 15 stone now, so needless to say, he doesn't get picked on now!!

Find out what the bullying policy at the school is and make sure it is enforced! My sons school did not tolerate bullying in any form and it would be an instant suspension for anyone caught bullying followed by expulsion if the behaviour didnt change!

These are supposed to be the best years of your sons life not be ruined by mindless thugs!

Hope you get it sorted out and that your son can continue with his education in a happy environment!

Bev x

I suffered mainly verbal bullying at school, but a physical assault, especially if by a small gang, needs to be acted on.

Just by reading these replies you can see how rife BULLYING is.

Two weeks ago it was blue day at our schools - Anti bullying week. I even had a go at making blue fairy cakes (that came out green)! for my younger one to take to school for the cake sale

I am going to a meeting tonight at school at 6pm about a French trip that Callum is going on. Hopefully someone in authority might be there

Will let you know what happens. Its lovely the support you get from people you don't know. You are all very special people. Thank you x

Hi Marcelle.

Just read your thread and my heart goes out to you. My 2 lads are in year 9 and they've told me in only the last couple of weeks they've stopped a few bullying incidents at their school and given protection to younger kids. Which makes me proud of them but they shouldn't need to do that should they?

It's good that he's allowed you to take photos, and you should show these to school. Let him know that whilst you understand exactly why he didn't want to tell you what was going on, for the bullies to be stopped, he - together with you & his dad - need to take control and not let them get away with it any longer.
Let him know that bullies are cowards and can not win in the end.

When you talk to school I think you should ask what their policy is on bullying. I know you said you didn't notice one on the website, but every school should have one and it should be visible and practical. For goodness sake I've even got one for my childminding setting. And don't let anyone make you (or your lad) feel as if you are over-reacting in any way. You're not. No child or parent should have to accept this.

Really hope you get this sorted and that the school act positively. At least the lady you saw today sounds as if she's on the case.

Good luck, and give him a big gentle ((hug))

Maria xxx



.

Thank you everyone for your advice & support. The school is to become run by a trust in January and not by the council. I am sure they wont want a bad report before they have even gotten into the new campus!

I have got no chance of getting him to the doctor. He wont have any of it and says I will make things worse. I have taken photos which I told him were just for me but I WILL show the school as soon as I can arrange a meeting. I will speak to his form teacher tomorrow. His best friend stood there and laughed whilst this was going on! more bits of info are coming out gradually.
Typical the day I want to go there the school is shut for parent/student reviews and my meeting isn't until 6.30pm

Once again thank you every one and also to those who have pm'd

Marcelle
x

I think I would go to the police - had this happened in the street unrelated to school, assault charges could be brought - this is no different

was just going to say that blue with the police some schools dont like admitting bullying going on in school

also i would tell the school about the bruises to ...

it angers me so much to hear this is still rife in schools i was bullied .. my heart goes out to him....

Jgee...

Rosi just beat me too it.Take photos of the bruises and any injury.This is assault.Thank goodness you know now.

I would take photos of the bruses, report it to the school and tell them you will report the assult to the police if it isnt acted upon straight away...Ask the school what policy they have on school bullys.

The teacher I spoke to today is going to look at the cameras to see if it is on them but she did say they didn't have enough of them! I have told Callum I will make an appointment and no one will know I have been there not even him.

I just pray the school is as understanding as yours have been. I just had a look at their website but can't see a bullying policy. He is doing so well there as well

I will keep you updated and thankyou for the advice. I can't ring any of my friends and talk to them as he has super sonic hearing and will get upset if he thinks I am discussing it with anyone
x

When my son was being picked on, he like your son didn't want to tell me, partly because he was embarassed and partly because he thought it would make it worse.
I went early into the school with my son and asked to see the head of lower school. I also refused to leave reception until he would see us.

After listening to our complaint, he turned to my son and asked him what he would like to happen on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being nothing 10 being expulsion. my son said he just wanted it to stop.

After a bit of chat it was agreed that, the boys would be told the teachers had seen what was happening and reported it, that way my son couldn't be seen as dobbing on them.
He was also told that if they bullied him again, or any of their friends did he was to the deputy head and report it immediately.

The way it was handled the power was handed back to my son, as bullied children often feel powerless.
I agree with Pammy about finding ways to boost his confidence.

It is never acceptable for children to be bullied in the way your son has been, go into the school be firm but polite. Stand your ground and make them do something about it. I would also mention that you are considering going to the police and reporting an assault.
Get pictures of the bruises on your son.

Good luck I hope it is sorted quickly OH and
((((((((((((((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))))) because I know how difficult it is to cope with something like that.
Don't forget to tell your son how brave you think he is and you understand how difficult it was for him to tell you.

Thanks all

I always said if anyone ever hurt my kids regardless of their age I would go mental but now I don't know how to react. I don't want to make things worse for him. I told him I would give him my mobile phone on Friday and if anything happens he can call me from the loo and I would leave work and go straight there but he doesn't want me to. Have just googled and read up on bullying and its awful some of the things that go on.

I just wonder if the school would have got in touch with me if I hadn't been stood outside today. I wonder how many of our kids suffer in silence? I can't wait for parents eve tomorrow. The school is shut to pupils tomorrow for their reviews. I am going to ring them in the morning when Callum isn't around as it will make him unhappier if he knows I am discussing it with them. Honestly I wish you could see the bruises. Six young adults pinning an eleven year old (small) boy down.
Crickey hubby will hit the roof when he gets home from work
x

Pathetic little cretins is the best I can put on here.
All I can say is at least the school are aware. I would ring tomorrow and ask to speak to the head of year and ask him/her what they are doing about this as schools have a duty to stamp out this unacceptable behaviour and remind them that your son has been assaulted while in their care.

Marcelle i would speak to the form tutor and head of his year or do they have learning mentors or pastral care workers. This is what we did when our son(yr 7) was threatened with a knife in his secondary school (also to spoke to head with this incident) and also when our other son(also yr7) was chased from school by agang and he hid for over 1/2 hour from them about 10 mins from home.
Our boys have not been bullied since despite us going to the school.

Can sympathise with the worring you go through.

Star