General Chat

My dad won't walk again ,he seems happy to let that go,he can get to where he wants to go in his wheelchair.

The speech is much improved now.When he first came home we were having a struggle with something he was trying to tell me and he asked me if I was thick or something because I couldn't understand him. So the humour is still there.

I felt that being ill is not a particularly happy feeling but learning and achieving are so we might concentrate on those.

We don't have many gadgets but the long grabber thing is excellent,for me as well.My OH is 6'8" so things do get put out of my reach,deliberately no doubt. There is a thing I bought from Lakeland that lets you break an egg with one hand but guess who has never used it.

One big contention we had was about his going out electric wheelchair.He had to go to the hospital to the hearing clinic and thought he should go in his manual chair but I made him go in the electric one,with a face like a smacked bum I might add.

Then he came back and told me about how he had gone down the corridor with them,all full of himself,Fangio.He goes round the shops in it now.

He was very awkward about wearing reflectives on the road so I made his brother tell him to and gave his brother the number of the wheelchair centre so that he could ring them and have it taken away from him.That had him!

He is achieving so much now that it his becoming harder to keep finding more things.

My father had several strokes. He was a very independant man and got very frustrated when people treated him as if he was an invalid.

After his second, or was it his third stroke, he lost the ability to speak for a period of time. He kept a llittle card in his wallet which he would show to anyone who were peeeving him off.

" Three (3) strokes could not finish me off, but I am left with limited speech. Speak normally, I am not deaf or daft. My name is Eric ........."

He was a feisty old gent, who at times drove me to distraction when he insisted on doing everything for himself, but he was my father and I loved him.


Helen

Please Frank and Julia and Gail.If for nobody else please come back for me and any other carers for stroke victims on here.We are all winging it.We do need your input.

Julia,I do feel like a git sometimes but I do generally try to do the thing myself with my left hand.It took ages to get him to take the batteries out of his hearing aids,even though I was showing him left handed and it was he action he had used on his lighter countless times.

Somebody I know had a brain haemhorrage(?) and was sent home one handed in August when the family would do nothing for her.She was so proud to make the mince pies at Christmas.She also pegs out the washing.

I have made my dad peg out washing but relented on that one as it involves holding his hand above his head for long periods.(Kindness incarnate.)

Possibly,because I have never treated him as sick he has not thought of himself as such.

Sharron - No matter how hard it seems, you're right to let him do things for himself.

Part of the reason that I made such a good recovery was that I had 2 young children at home and I HAD to, somehow, do things for them.

My mum was here for the first 3 weeks and then she had to go back to the UK, so it was either sink or swim, I chose to swim!

I am carer to my dad who had a stroke two years ago.He has lost his right side and don;t think he will regain it but, at eighty-nine this month,it could have been much worse.Eighteen months ago he was sent home to die because he was making no progress in hospital.

This,I believe,was because he had no incentive to get better.He had a peg feed tube so they were giving him no opportunity to eat,nor were they giving him chance to control his bowels,keeping him in incontinence pads.

Ever since he came home he has had to do most things for himself because I won't.You would not believe how hard that is for me.

I think his mind is so occupied with trying to work out how to do things that he has no time to feel down.We have treated it as some kind of exciting challenge.

Maybe because it doesn't get him anywhere to be otherwise, he seems to be a better tempered old bu**er since the stroke or maybe it is because he is learning again.

Frank - haven't you been offered any rehab'? People in this area get offered it. I had heart attack end of May and been on a 6 weeks rehab course incl gym work, lectures, relaxation classes etc

Hi Frank just thought i would send you some positive thoughts and a ((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))) Valxxx

Hello Frank.
I'm sorry you're feeling unwell and depressed,hoping your spirits lift very soon.

Reading this thread has brought back memories of when my Dad suffered a series of strokes and how they changed his character,bringing him really bad moods.

You will find lots of support here on the boards from members who have experienced what you're going through and will offer positive thoughts.
These lovely folk are a shining example of how things should be on here,making GR a friendly,warm place to visit and stay.

I wish you well Frank
and also Gail,Brian(i),and Julia

Mau (xxxx)

Brian is right Frank,

I wallowed in self-pity for a couple of weeks and then decided to give myself a kick and get on with it.

At the end of everyday, I would ask myself - what did I manage to do today that I couldn't do yesterday? There was always something, no matter how small!

On bad days I would remind myself that there were people out there who were far worse off than me.

You just have to try and stay positive, don't let it beat you.

Julia x

Frank ,stay with us on the childhood memories thread.We are waiting to hear more from you.

Hi Frank

My Dad had his first and most serious stroke 10 years ago ( age 57 ) left his right side totally useless, he stuggled for 3 months to even talk and when he did his words were muddled.
His moods swings could go from being really nasty to really funny and without warning he would swear the worst swear words you could imagine ( I had never heard my Dad use swear words before this ).

It took a good three years before he learnt to walk without the need for his wheelchair to be there incase he got tired, to write with his left hand, cut his own food up.

After four years he was out walking on his own for up to 5 miles each day, went back to his favourite hobby of fishing ( again just using his left hand ), started going abroad again.

He has kept figting and never gave up even though I know at times he was fustrated and angry with his new life.

Keep positive and focused

xxxx

Hello Frank. I lost my right side completely. When I managed to get a small movement I then worked very hard on getting better. There is nothing wrong with the muscles, but your brain is lazy and has to be re-trained back to normal. Everything that I could with my left I made right do the same. I spent many hours in the hospital working on the right arm and when I was knackered would then work on my leg. No TV, papers, books etc. They said that it would be seven to eight months before I be would home; I was back at home in six weeks. Your recovery is up to YOU. I will not be beaten, I don’t say “I can’t do things now” I say “I can’t do things as well as I as before”. I will not use the word ‘frustrated’, I use the word ‘annoying’. I laugh at my self and every one will laugh with me (or ‘at me’), if the cry then you will cry alone.
I know that everybody’s stroke is different and some will never be better, but getting frustrated will not help.
Kind regards,
Brian(i)

hello Frank, sorry to hear that youa re unwell and depressed. As everyone else has said, please look at the depressions and anxieties thread. Not need to read it all through if you don't want to as it is very long but just read back a few pages and post on there. Lots of support and a few laughs.

Good Morning Brian, Liz, Gail and Vicky.

Ann
Glos

Hi Frank,

I had a stroke in 2002.

Frustration, depression, evil temper, been there, done that, bought the t shirt.

I'm one of the lucky ones, I'm almost completely recovered, but it took a long time and a lot of hard work.

My family and friends were my greatest help and it certainly wasn't an easy time for them either.

Please feel free to PM me if you want.

Julia

Hi. Frank. I will put a reply when I soon I can. My grammar is shot to pieces :-(( { :-))) }.
Brian(i)

Vicky, who's following who lol
xx

n

Hi Frank, sorry you have been through a difficult time.
You might also see posts from Brian with an i, he has returned to us a while back after fighting back from a stroke, and kept apologising for his grammar and spelling, luckily I think he realises we don't see that, we just see that he is back with us all.
Stick around and get to know folk here and I am sure you will get lots of support.
Lizx (night owl)

I had an Uncle Frank, bit of an entrepeneur and ladies man lol

Frank. So sorry to read you thread.

There are a few people on hear who have experienced depression and temper tantrums

One of our member is currently in hospital after suffering a stroke a few weeks ago, and we give her support..

Please add to the Depression/Anxiety thread which is running.

You will get plenty of support, as we have all been affected by this debilitating illness, and can over you so much support.
Welcome to the thread when you add.

You need never feel alone when you get the support you do on the thread.

Good luck Frank, My late fathers name.

Vods xx