General Chat

I am the eldest of three, I am 10 years older than my brother and 15 older than my sister, I remember mithering my mum and dad for a little brother or sister and was thrilled to bits when I got told I was having one, after 10 years of being an only child. He was born at home and the midwife shooed me out of the bedroom until she had put his nappy on lol. My sister coming along 5 years later was another bonus.

I was adopted at a few months old.We got my sister when I was 4and 3/4.The three quarters was always important,not sure why.I was always "the good" one and sister the mischievous one.I was always the one Mum rang when there was something worrying her when she had dementia,and my Aunt was the same.I think it was partly because I was the eldest and partly cos I was the "Bossy Bitch " as mum used to say!!!!!!!Bless her.I t was always said jokingly(bossy maybe ,but never a B****)!!

I too was adopted and brought up as an 'only' but then found I was the fourth of eight on one side and the first of five on the other. I swing between the total confidence of an 'only', and the total insecurity of an 'adoptee'. Was with my birth family for my first two years, so with three older 'halves' and right at the end a baby full sister (not yet managed to trace her) Then brought up from age two as an 'only'. Don't know which is uppermost, the confident public school educated 'only', or the insecure Council house born number four, whose whole family totally disappeared from my knowledge at aged two.
Eileen
birth name
still seeking full sister
birth name
Jennifer Ann .......no father's name on birth cert.
born 22nd September 1945 in Woking Maternity Hospital.
Our mother Muriel Ethel M.......nee H....... lived in Bisley.
All the rest of the family on both sides traced.

I'm similar to Ann in Glos as I was 8 when my sister was born. Liked being an only child for those early years. When my sister came along, as the eldest, I was always expected to be 'old enough to know better' whereas my sister was always 'too young to understand'. This never changed....when we grew up and my mother was old, I still had to do everything because mother thought my sister 'couldn't be relied on'. Mum, she never got any practice!!!!! My brother arrived when I was 15 and was spoiled even more. Because I was the eldest, despite passing all my exams, university wasn't an option, parents thought I should be paying board to help keep the rest!

In my experience I would say my siblings had far more things, far less responsibility, less expectation of them and sadly it didn't stop when we grew up!

On the positive side, I grew up more quickly, was self reliant and responsible and have always stood on my own feet.

i am the eldest of 4 i was spoilt, and did most things my own way, it paved the way for my poor 3 brothers who coudnt do anything after that my dad was very strict with them oopps sorry bruvs...

I am youngest of 8, 3 sisters and 4 brothers I was spoilt even by eldest sisters and brother but even now if there is a problem they all phone me
I have 1 girl and 3 boys

I'm the oldest of two, my brother is two years younger than me and I always considered him to be spoilt.

I certainly can be bossy but he was never having any of it as a child and has always done his own thing, as have I. We didn't have to have hand-me-downs and never shared any toys, being one of each sex.

We never had anything in common and, as we usually socialised separately, we could have been only children! We don't keep in contact much now, either.

I always thought two children was boring, all sitting tidily around the table, so I have three of my own which I think is very nice.

My f-i-l was one of 18 and said it was difficult to remember all the names, especially of those who died very young.

I'm the youngest of five but was by no means 'spoilt' in any way by my parents or siblings, My mum used to say that you rear the first, then the rest can 'rear' themselves!, I have always been very independent, left home at 17, married without my parents blessing or attendence at the wedding at 20. (still married) Of all my siblings I am the only one still happily married.

I am the youngest child on my mum's side but the eldest on my dads. how confusing is that.

I have three older brothers and always feel I missed out not having a sister. I would have loved a sister

Barbara x

Hi all, I was adopted and grew up as an only child, don't remember ever feeling lonely though, and still quite happy with my own company, but not a loner have loads of friends. Found out earlier this year that I am actually 3rd of 7 children and have contact with my oldest sister, she's 10 years older than me, its taking some getting used to, we are hoping to meet up when I come over to UK in January. I have 2 boys aged 28 and 25, tried to bring them up both the same but each one says the other got more attention,toys, clothes etc. they are quite close but totally different personalities.
Regards
Dawn

I'm the eldest of two - I was born in September and my sister was born 23 months later in the August so there was only one school year between us.

I was always seen as the intelligent one, I think more was expected of me academically and I got better exam results than my sister, but I've found that I seem to be the one who gets given all the responsibilities while my sister gets to do as she likes.

(This is not, however, due to my parents attitude - more that, now we are old enough to look after the house if Mum and Dad want to go away somewhere, my sister will take every opportunity to go out and see her friends (last night she "had" to go and pick her friend up, then she "had" to take the friend home, for instance) and because I work from home I seem to get left with the day to day stuff. I think my sister is more of a "risk-taker" than I am - I will avoid doing something if it is inconvenient for others to work around, my sister just goes out and does it regardless (even if it means a row with my parents).

But saying that, it is probably due to personality - my sister can only do that because I am so non-confrontational that I tend to let her do it rather than tackle her about it, because confronting the issue invariably means argument and/or my sister getting what she wants anyway.

I had two brothers older than me and three brothers younger. Maybe because I was quite ill as a child, I was completely cossetted and taken care of by all my brothers and also by my father and mother. I adored the first and last born (sadly they have died) and the others I can take or leave. BC XX

INTERESTING THREAD
I am the eldest of 5 children 3 boys 2 girls. My youngest sister is 15 years younger than me with 3 boys in the middle.
I was the permanant baby sitter for my little sister and sometimes missed out on some of the teenage years. I loved her dearly though and we are very close even now. She is my best friend and we speak on the phone daily. We see each other at least twice a week even though she lives an hours drive from me. My brothers seemed to have a rivalry as youngsters but became really close as adults.
I have now lost one of my younger brothers and soon to loose another who is very sick. My sister and I have been there for both of them through their illness but the other brother doesn't seem to be able to cope with those kind of things. All in all we had a great childhood but I was always the one that had to be there for the little ones. We were loved though.

I have two boys but because of living a great distance apart they are not close. That does upset me but my grandchildren of which I have 3 give me a lot of pleasure. I found that your own children sometimes take you for granted (Loved them to bits though) but Grandchildren love you unconditionally.
Waffled as usual so will now shut up lol.
Regards
Jackie

I was the middle one of 3, but as my brother was nearly 10 when I was born, it was usually just me with a younger sister.
My mother tried to be really fair,- not giving more to one than the other and dressed us girls alike. Eventually I plucked up courage to ask if I could at least have a different style when our dresses were made.
Like Ann's family, I think I paved the way for my sister to be treated more freely, when we got to our teens.
Overall though, my parents were great and gave us a wonderful childhood of happy memories.

OH is the eldest of 3 and had a lot more confidence than me, when we met.
We have 3 children (adults now) who all get on great and are ready to help and support each other if needed. Growing up I don't remember any real problems of sibling rivalry. We tried to give each, individual time, as well as family time together.

Gwyn

my OH is one of 11

i have a sister 9 yrs older and a brother 14 yrs older so i was always told i was a pest by my sister but my parents spoiled me

Youngest of five (four girls and a boy)by five minutes i'm a twin ;0) Could have done without all the fighting in our house. It seems to me that the youngest always ends up being the peace maker in later life..

I am an only one so is my hubby and we have one daughter,she has one son, I would have loved to have been part of a larger family, I would have loved a larger family myself, my friends are very important to me , they are my surrogate family.that's probably
why I love being on here ......

Jean x

P.S. didnt really answer the question, it has affected my life I have always felt lonely and would have loved to be able to share things with someone.

I am the youngest of three ( older two being my brothers ).

When it comes to hand me downs I often got my brothers old jumpers / jeans to wear.........the consequence being that people often asked if I was a boy or a girl ..........lol

I have never really had an interest in the whole cloths thing ( and have never gone in for make up etc).........but I could mend a puncture or scale a six foot fence by the time I was 10.........lol

Now , as we have lost both our parents my brothers look to me for emotional support......their lives ( my brothers ) are poles apart and somehow I have become the one in the middle ( as it where ) that keeps us three glued together........strange old business is Life..........lol

Amanda

I was the eldest by 6.5 years. I suppose I gained by beine an only child initially but then being the eldest and having to drag little sister with me wen I was a teenager (at weekends when Mum went out to work part time) made me a bit resentful. Then, being the eldest of two girls I was very restricted in my teens having to be in early etc etc and my sister had more leeway as they had practised on me so I wasn't able to grow up as quickly as I probably would have and was very timid until I got married.

However, I don't think that it has affected me overall. but that may be because I married young (20) and had our daughter at 21 and seemed to 'mature' overnight.

I have to say that until a few years ago my sister and I were not close, I still don't feel that close to her. There are the same number of years between our two and, although they get on fine, they didn't when the eldest was in her teens and they are not particularly close. It doesn't help that we all live about 100 miles from each other.

Ann
glos