General Chat

thanks, love.
Lizxx

XXXXXXXXXXHUGSXXXXXXXXX

Thanks Sex0720, I am glad your late f.i.l. was able to see all the grandchildren, lovely for you all to know he was able to recognise them and be ok with them. I was so lucky that both my late parents had no problems like dementia.

I know my calls help cheer Joyce and we start talking family history stuff, which in turn sets her thinking after the call of other things in the family when she was young, so she remembers them to tell me the next time I call. She remembers my late Dad meeting her off the train, she said he must have been on leave, and he met her and carried her case to his Mum's so she could stay for a holiday. Apparently they picked mushrooms on the way and were both poorly later after they had eaten them lol Little things but they start a chain of thought for her to while away her time and they bring my father to life in a way I never knew him. Since doing my tree I have started to think of my Dad as a person, not just a Dad!

Lizxx

Liz - thinking of you and Joyce - my late father in law had dementia very early and was taken from us at the age of 60. He had the joy of seeing all 3 grandchildren - youngest only 6months. This was when he was at his most lucid. I think he held on just to see them all. A heartbreak for all. Every day that you speak to Joyce remember a smile in your voice will transcend hundreds of miles and she will receive it too. Even though he is gone in person she has the blessing of time that only she and Ernest shared - special memories, funny stories and a special look or a word that only they could know and share.
May God Bless Joyce and wrap his comfort and strength around her. And God Bless You too Liz.

Sez0720 xxx

Joyce and everyone, thank you all, Ernest is at rest now and Joyce will stay strong I am sure. I think it has been made easier for her in a way because he hasn't been able to live at home since before Christmas and because of that and the Alzheimer's she had already lost him in a way. Also she and her son were very worried about the costs of the homes he was in as they wanted to do their best for him, but were worried her savings would run out. Now she has a little money left to have her porch altered so she can get out sometimes perhaps and also to get a new carpet she badly needs, and a better tv as it is her only company some times and to get whatever she needs to help her stay in her home. I just wish the doctors could offer her some hope about getting her leg/hip done but they say there is nothing they can do because she has a pacemaker.

Eric, thank you for your kind words. I am sorry you are finding the loss of your dear father so hard to bear but it is early days and as time goes on, you will find it a little easier, I promise. I have lost both my parents, each when they reached 79 years of age. You all know you did your very best for him and he wouldn't want you to be hurting so much. One day you will be together again.
I will nudge up the Remember Me thread, there are some lovely verses on there that will bring tears, let them be healing tears for you.
Lizxx

XX Thinking of you today XX..

Prayers and thoughts are with you and Joyce today


Jenxx

Liz thinking of you and your friend Joyce as she says goodbye to Ernest,and im sure she understands why you could,nt be there but you will meet her when you feel stronger in yourself
godbless all
Dutchxx
Eric i no how you feel my loverly father inlaw pass away 7yrs ago and i miss him so much ,but the youngest son took it very hard he cried everyday went to his fathers grave every week,he was making himself ill but it took quite afew years for him try and get himself back into remembering how his dad was,we were all collecting for there 50th wedding anniversary but he did,nt make it,i still miss him
Dutchx

Hi Liz

You dont know me ..But I have been sitting here reading what people have been saying..I lost my dad on the 23rd August ..and his funeral was on the 12th of September and I am thinking of him all the time when I am at work...Most of the time in Tears..I know he is not in any more pain and all his suffering is over...But I dont think I will every get over him leaving us all. His wife of 53 years ( My Mum ) his 6 children, 22 grandchildren, and 11 Great Granchildren...Most of us was with him when he died and I just cant understand anyone who does not look after their own ! We are all missing my dad and he had a good send off which I know he would have loved..My Thoughts are with you . God Bless.
Eric ( From London )

Thinking of Joyce today as she says one last goodbye to Ernest,her memories will keep her srong
she is fotunate to have someone like you Liz to be there for her if and when she needs a listening ear , God bless you both.

Jean x

Thanks, Kaz and Huia. I would have loved to be able to pay my respects as Ernest was such a good friend of my late parents, but I know Joyce understands and she will have a visit from me to look forward to later on. She has been pleased to receive more than 40 cards of condolence apparently, she says they all mention what a gentleman Ernest was and how his kindnesses have helped others over the years. You can't want more than that can you?

Lizxx

Off to bed now, will set my alarm so I wake up just before 1pm

I bet poor Joyce hasn't slept much, bless her. Just hope the weather stays dry and bright, don't want her getting soaked at the graveside, and being ill afterwards.

Thinking of you and Joyce. Sorry I cant be thinking of you at the time of the funeral. I hope to be asleep then. But thinking in advance.

Huia xxx

Thinking of Joyce at such a sad time and you too, Liz!

Kaz x

Can you please keep Joyce in your heart as she says her final goodbye today at 1pm? Ernest is being buried in the plot they bought when he retired, in Banbury. Joyce isn't very mobile so won't be able to visit the grave much, if at all, after today.
She is being so positive and told me the other evening she is determined to live to 90, her doctor said when she told him that, that he is sure she will live a lot longer, as she is such a strong minded and positive person. She is trying very hard to stay cheerful, bless her and I will be going to see her as soon as I can.
Rest in Peace, Ernest, life's work well done.

Lizxx

Sorry to hear about your loss , Liz. I haven`t been reading the threads as I`ve work problems. Will mail you, Ros xx

Joyce phoned to tell me the funeral is Friday week, 26th Sept.
She knows I would attend if I could, am trying to work out whether I could manage it but have to see nearer the day whether I am up to driving that far, obviously would go the day before and stay over a couple of days. Joyce says she will understand if I can't make it and will I go and stay with her sometime when I can make the journey. Bless her. Would you believe it, her son and d.i.l. will be taking a week away to Yorkshire or somewhere, early in October! I know she had said they wanted to have another week away, they went not so long back and left her at home as usual with just the carers going in and now they need another week as the d.i.l. is tired!!!! She said C. had booked it when she spoke to me this evening!
Words fail me! |Joyce more or less inferred that the two grandsons atr home take some looking after!!! They are both in their mid twenties, time they did for themselves a bit more then!


Lizx

Thank you all of you, I still can't understand a family leaving her alone so much at a time like this when she so obviously needs company and a bit of tlc.

I know she said to the d.i.l. a while back that she already felt as if she was a widow, having lost Ernest to Alzheimer's before Christmas and then him having to move to the home and she told me she knew she would have to face this at some point, but even so, she must be so sad - I hope she doesn't give up now.

The physio told her a few weeks ago to continue the exercises he showed her, but there is nothing further they can do, and because of her other health problems, they cannot operate on her hip or leg so she will not get any better than she is now. She is diabetic and has a pacemaker.
She is one brave lady. I wish I was near to where she lives, I would go and talk with her, to help the time pass for her.

Lizxx

Sounds like plenty of people to welcome him home, Liz.
Sue xx

Dear Liz, so sorry for your sadness, and a special hug to Joyce, she'll feel very alone now and doesn't sound like family are supportive. You're doing all a friend can do - stand by.
Hugs and love
Mary

I just wished his wife could have seen him before Liz,but she has her memorys.Annie x